Creativity Queen

Child therapy, art therapy

2011-04-25T14:04:00.000-07:00

Do you have a child who needs help managing their behaviors and feelings?

Looking for family therapy or child therapy that will help your child make behavior changes?

Are you in need of some non-judgemental parenting support and parenting advice?

Welcome, I’m Dr. Laura Dessauer and I use art therapy to help children and families creatively connect so your child feels happier and more confident. Although my family art therapy and child therapy practice is in Sarasota, FL I help children and families throughout the country.

If you are a parent in need of support for your child>CLICK HERE

Using Art Therapy to create what you desire

2009-12-31T12:07:00.001-08:00

I just so love and adore the new year. If you know me then you have heard me say, " you get a do-over". A do-over is a word we used as a kid. If you missed the ball while trying to hit it you got another chance. It didn't count, you get to call a do-over, and you get to do it again. I love kids because they really understand do-overs. You could spend half an hour pitching the ball and they call do-overs until they get it. That's pretty smart, asking for what you need. So I adore the new year, because it's like a natural do-over.

However, do we practice do-overs in our lives? Many of us practice "do-agains" instead. I looked back at my yearly journal entries and see many of the same goals, be more compassionate with my family, loose 10 lbs, etc. The resolutions are great until someone in my family does something and I get so frustrated or I sign-up to get 8 boxes of girl scout cookies, then I'm face with rewriting the same things next year. Does this sound familiar?

So I began to wonder why some really big things I set out to accomplish, like writing my book, happen and why other less difficult things don't happen. What I found was I needed some concrete outcomes, steps to take to get there, and supports around me to help me make the changes. Even bigger than action steps is the commitment I made to the change and how I decided to feel about it.

If there is specific area in your life that you are longing to transform allow yourself to focus on that one thing. Here's where the do-over comes in handy. You can change the way you think and feel about this by using your creative possibilities thinking. So identify the problem (one is enough), be very specific and clear what it is. Now go grab some art supplies, magazines, chalks, oil paster, markers, paint, whatever you have on hand. Sit with this problem and ask how would I be different if this problem was resolved, what would I be doing, thinking, or feeling? Allow yourself to use the art materials to express how different your life would feel and be if this was no longer an issue. This is your do-over. This is your map to make changes.

My collage hangs over my fireplace as a reminder of what I am choosing to create.

Art Therapy and Loss

2009-11-24T11:04:00.001-08:00

When you lose someone you love deeply there are lessons beyond what you could imagine. Some painful and heartbreaking and some humbling and heart opening. Every loss is an opportunity for growth (within yourself and closer to others). No matter who you are you will experience loss in your life. A loss of a grandparent, of a parent, a sibling, child, pet, spouse, friend, or relative. Loss is inevitable and comes in so many forms- moving away from friends and family, loss of a significant relationship, divorce, loss of a job, changes in school, a loss of physical health, saying good-bye to someone traveling away, or having an empty nest. Life continually is in a state of change and loss is a part of the cycle. So how can we live with grace and compassion and open to these experiences when we encounter them (rather than shutting down, hiding, denying, or minimizing these most important moments)? I don't have the answers, but I am in the process of learning and this is what I've discovered. 1. Allow yourself to be in the feelings. People are fearful that they will become overwhelmed with emotions if they allow themselves to feel deeply. The truth is the more you ignore, avoid, or try to push through these feelings the more they will drain you and overwhelm you. Embrace what it is you are feeling and what it is that you need so you may gracefully move through the experience. 2. Give yourself time. There are stages of grief and loss and they do not unfold overnight. Please be gentle and kind with yourself and not to try to push though the process quickly. When you honor your needs and give yourself time to heal you will move forward with an open heart, knowing what is unfolding is in perfect time. 3. Allow yourself to detach from trying to control circumstances and outcomes. We all know the Serenity Prayer "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can;and the wisdom to know the difference." There are many things beyond your control when experiencing a loss and surrendering to what you cannot control allows a centering back to yourself and what it is you truly need. Being still and focusing on the "here and now" allows you an opportunity to let go of what you can't control and soften to what you can. 4. Support and love is the way through loss. There is an opportunity to open your heart and be vulnerable with those in your life during this process. When you are honest and allow others to be there with you on your healing journey you create deeper relationships. This has been the greatest gift in my experience and I am grateful for all those who have lovingly offered support and understanding in this time of loss. 5. Find comfort in creating. During some of the most difficult times in my life I have looked to art as a balm for my soul. Art allows a soft resting place for grief. I've used the art to honor those losses and those I have loved, as well as a gift for myself to help heal and nourish my soul. Here are some creative therapeutic activities you can do to help you through loss. Knit, sew, or create jewelry. These activities allow you to assert control over the materials, provides a mediative or prayerful experience of repetitious actions. Create a photo collage or scrapbook as a way of processing and honoring memories. Create art from clay or cement by embedding special items in the medium, or glue items on a box or candle representing your memories and feelings. I believe we not only need to learn from these experience for ourselves, but also model this for our children and families.

Art Therapy - Paint a Prayer

2009-11-24T11:03:00.001-08:00

I'm heading to the American Art Therapy Conference in Dallas this week and will have time to taste all the art making goodies and learn lots of new tools and techniques to share with you. A few highlights of the trip will be visiting the Art Station to learn more about Mandalas from instructors trained by Dr. Cornell, as well as an exploratory class at the Arboretum, and of course my own presentation- which is so very exciting! I also hope to hear what successes you have been celebrating, both big and small. If you have taken time to be creative, said "no" to things that are not right for you, allowed yourself time to listen to your inner voice- all these we celebrate! Remember all moments have the potential to be creative, even at times when things appear stuck and overwhelming, there are creative possibilities. This may mean letting go of how things "should be" or letting go of doing things "right". When you do so, you create a space for new possibilities. Here's a delicious creative tip to keep your juices flowing- enjoy! Paint a Prayer Ask spirit to come and be with you. Sit in a quite place and allow yourself to feel your heart opening. Invite spirit to speak into your heart what it is you need to hear. Use watercolors, or other paints, to express what you are feeling and what was spoken to you. Sit with the image you have created and allow yourself to deeply feel and honor what it is you needed to express.

Gratitude - Using Positive Psychology and Art Therapy

2009-11-24T11:02:00.000-08:00

I do love this time of year as a period of reflection on what what has transpired over the last 12 months. Although the year is always is filled with change, this year I reflect on the gifts I've been given- strength in being vulnerable, grace in the midst of loss, many supportive friends and family who lovingly witness my journey and accept me where I am I my path, my own deeper loving acceptance of who I am. All these glorious gifts I give gratitude for. Although many were discovered in difficult times, I give thanks for the ability to welcome growth in the midst of change. The feature article below offers some thoughts on giving thanks and how you can use your creativity to celebrate what you are grateful for. As many of you know I am a fan of positive psychology and use in often in my life and in my art therapy practice with clients. If you haven't heard of positive psychology it is a new field of psychology that emphasizes the strengths and resources of the individual. Instead of focusing solely on what's wrong, it encourages you to explore "what's right" in your life. Needless to say it encourages resilience and the belief that we are resourceful creators in our lives- meaning we can use our innate gifts to live a happier life, regardless of the circumstances. So how can you apply the principles of positive psychology into your life and help your family use these tools too? One of the basic tools positive psychologist have been studying is called "Three Good Things in Life". The research suggests that by writing down three things you are grateful for each day you can reduced depressive symptoms and increased happiness for six months (Park et al., 2005). How simple, yet how effective! So here are some simple ways to bring this practice into your home and encourage yourself and your children to explore gratitude. 1. Make a gratitude ritual- At dinner or before bed allow your child and yourself to reflect on what you are grateful for each day. 2. Journal- This simple tool will allow you an opportunity to reflect on the day and find the good. It's nice to do this before going to bed to allow your mind to think positively before drifting off to sleep. 3. Make gratitude art- This could be in many forms, such as marking an image or using collage to create what you are grateful for; or creating gifts of gratitude for others. 4. Create a Thanksgiving tradition- Encourage your child (or do this yourself) to draw or use magazine pictures to make place mats for each member of the family. On each place mat create an image of what about that individual you are grateful for (such as who they are, what they like, what they do, what makes them special). This is a great activity to keep your child busy while you are cooking and a unique way to celebrate each person in the family. You can collect them throughout the years as each person grows, and reflect on their changes and unique attributes. Having problems at home and need more support? We can help, contact us at info@thecreativityqueen.com Park, N., Peterson, C., Seligman, M. E., & Steen, T.A. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of intervention. American Psychologist, 60.

Quick Creative Tips For Positive Communication For Busy Families

2009-11-24T11:01:00.000-08:00

Is your family swamped by too many things on the to do list, leaving little time for deep connections with those in your family? Maybe you've seen your child become upset and overwhelmed, but you're so depleted and rushed there is little time to understand what your child is really feeling? If children do not feel heard and validated they will express their feelings in other unhealthy ways, leading to possible behavior and emotional problems. So what's a busy parent to do? STOP, LISTEN, and VALIDATE (kinda like stop, drop and roll). When your child is starting to become upset, they give signals. As a parent you know that they are getting upset, and sometimes you've got to go and can't always attend to what they are feeling. However, if you take a few seconds and STOP you can shift the reactive response that is brewing within your child. It takes more time to try to get your child back on track after they have a meltdown than it does to STOP. Stopping allows you to step into your parenting power so you're not responding from a reactive frazzled state. Stopping allows your child an opportunity to self-regulate, so they can learn how to get back in control of their behaviors. Stopping allows you to be present, loving, and open to hearing and seeing what's really happening with your child; so you can help them express their feelings and they learn other ways to communicate, rather than being reactive. When you stop you can be fully present to LISTEN and hear what their needs are. They may need to express thoughts and feelings that are not related to what's on your agenda. When you model being flexible your child will also learn flexibility. You have to decide what's important. Is it teaching your child a positive way to communicate their needs or is it that they learn how to "jump to it" and be on time so that others are not upset. I know this is a polarized example, but I want you to think about what you are emphasizing as important values for your child. Listening and really hearing your child takes only a few minutes, yet the importance of this leads to health self-esteem, learning positive communication skills, and respect (which parents want their child to learn). VALIDATING means you recognize what your child may be feeling and thinking. It's not necessary to problem solve for them, or tell them what wrong or bad, or that you condone what they are saying. It just means that you get their point of view and deeply understand their feelings. When kids are being reactive they are operating from FEAR and CONTROL. Validating their feelings allows a child to feel emotionally safer and acts as a re-set button on their feelings. They were heard, they felt understood, now they can continue onward. Here's a creative activity to help you child through this process. If you notice your child about to loose control of their feelings ask them to tell you what they are feeling. If they are unable to do so or they are overwhelmed ask them to go to a quite place and make a picture of what that feeling looks like (Can you make a picture of how mad you are?") If your child chooses to share the picture with you do not make corrections or tell them they shouldn't feel that way. Listen to them and validate their feelings. Model this and your child will have a set of skills that will lead to life long success!

Want more art therapy information?

2009-10-14T10:44:00.000-07:00

We have moved our blog to out beautiful new site articles section. Please come and visit us there. http://www.thecreativityqueen.com/articles

Art Therapy and Healing

2009-09-17T11:58:00.000-07:00

I've been seeing many families hurting so badly and in such pain. It may be many things such as the economy, fear of the unknown, or the emphasis of lack and scarcity. Sadly, I have notice this has triggered may fears in parents. Often these fears trigger the thoughts and behaviors we had as a child. If you have never fully healed those aspects of yourself you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed, fearful, scared, or avoiding what's really at the root of your feelings. However, for those people who are stepping into their fear and allowing themselves to heal there is tremendous change that is occurring. It's remarkable to see the release of pain that has been held on for years and how people's lives can be transformed when they they are committed to growing- no matter how scared they are. So I offer you a feature article on thinking about your own healing and well being and how in this moment you can choose to lovingly embrace yourself.

There is something that I have to share that keep appearing again and again with the families I see. It breaks my heart to see parents in such pain. I know how much they hurt, wanting to see their relationships with their children be closer and to help their children be more confident and happier. I see these families whose hearts are breaking because they want so badly to help their children, but I know there is more to this, much more than what they see. So many parents come in with their own hurts and pains. They have grown up in families that didn't allow their voice to be heard or they never felt good enough. There are years of pain and hurt that have been pushed down because these parents were so fearful of letting these hurts out- fearful of rejection, worried they may fall apart, scared others may find out their deepest fears. So these parents keep looking for ways to fill their void. By doing more, buy buying more, by looking a certain way, by focusing on their children's well being and putting everyone else's needs before theirs. It breaks my heart to see these parents struggle to push through all the pain they are feeling and keep searching for ways to fill their hurt places.

These deep wounds created in the past keep us running on a treadmill of beliefs that if we did something more, had something more, looked differently, then we would be happy, lovable, respected, understood. The truth is that the ability to heal these tender places is already within us and we just haven't tapped into it, so we continue to look outside of us. The sad part is that most traditional talk therapies will give you more of the same. They will continue to keep you in your head, thinking about things- rather than being in your heart, where you can heal and release your pain. I have seen parents who have come to me with problems with their children and when they do their own work find they had been holding on to patterns and beliefs that had kept them in pain for years. Despite years of talk therapy, they still had not healed their heart. As one very wise mother said, "Art therapy allows me to get into my heart instead of my head. When I am in my heart I can feel, and when I feel I am able to heal". So I'm offering something I've never offered before, an opportunity to get to the root of the cause of your pain, so you release the beliefs that you're not good enough, that you have to do or be more, that you are broken and unlovable, so you can let go of these feelings for once and for all. If this the right time for you to finally let go of the pain and heal yourself (and you'll know in your heart if it is) then I ask you to call me directly at (941)504-8498 to set up an appointment. I'd be honored to help you on your healing journey.

Quick Creative Tips to Imrove Communication with Your Teen

2009-09-01T09:40:00.000-07:00

If you have a teen you may have seen them transform from a connected loving child to a frustrated, stressed out, shut down, eye rolling teenager. Most parents just don’t know how to connect with their teen and feel like whatever they say or do is ”wrong”. How you dealt with your children’s problems will not be the same way you will support your teen. But don’t worry we have some simple strategies to help you reconnect with your teen.

1. Listen-
Your teen may seem like they really don’t want to share things with you. While it’s true they are spending more time thinking about things that are important to them, they still want to have a relationship with you, but they may feel like you really don’t understand them. Do you really understand them? Here’s a simple way to understand your teen, listen! You do not need to judge them, or tell them how they should solve the problems they are encounter, or what you think of their friends. Instead, ask them a question, such as, “what was the most frustrating thing that happened today”, then listen.

2. Understand-
It wasn’t that long ago that you were a teen and you may remember all of the frustrations, overwhelm, and angst you felt then. Being a teen is an emotional rollercoaster ride and if you are not there to support your child imagine who will help them make MAJOR life decisions! So it is time to start understanding your teen from their point of view. You may not agree with their behaviors and choices, and that’s fine, but you do need to start to understand their thoughts and feelings. A simple way to do that is validating their point of view. For example acknowledging their feelings when things don’t go their way, “ I understand you are mad you can’t go to the mall with Samantha, that’s got to be really frustrating.” Just being validated makes teens feel understood and improves the relationships.

3. Encourage Self-Expression-
You teen has lots to express. Find positive outlets to help them deal with all their frustrations and stressors. Whatever their interests: dance, sports, horses, art, music, allows them opportunities for positive self-expression. This creates healthy connections with peers, the opportunity for other positive adults to mentor your teen, and an easy way for you to connect with your teen by watching and encouraging their interests. Want an easy conversation starter? Ask about their favorite activity and watch as your teen reconnects with you.

Want some very specific strategies to reconnect with YOUR teen? Join out HOW TO TALK WITH YOUR TEEN Parent Support Program. For more info contact info@thecreativityqueen.com or (941) 504-8498.

A simple creative strategy to help your child through the transition of a new school year

2009-08-24T12:11:00.000-07:00

Life is filled with obstacles and as you become an adult you often encounter situations that throw you off balance. How you manage these adversities are often formed when you were a child and unconsciously you are reacting from the same pattern you did as a child when a new situation arises or when things become overwhelming. If you didn't have healthy adults in your life modeling how to manage change you may have picked up some unproductive ways cope. Here's the good thing, you always have an opportunity to change and grow by creating new healthy strategies to meet your needs. In addition, you can teach your children new healthy ways of responding to changes.

Here's a simple, but effective strategy to help your child when they encounter new challenges. Have your child take out a big piece of paper. On that paper have them draw all the things that they are worried or fearful about. For a younger child it may be a fear that the new teacher may be mean, for a middle school child it may be the fear of finding their classes, for a teenager it could be meeting new friends. Here's the important part, do not judge or minimize what their worries are. If you make judgmental comments such as, "oh that's not true", you do not validate your child's feelings. When you allow them to embrace their feelings they are more likely to move through the feelings, allowing an opportunity to create new thoughts and feelings around the circumstances. Allow your child to express all their worries and validate their feelings. Then, after you have heard them and allowed them an opportunity for self-expression, ask them to create all the things they could do to overcome the fears, worries and challenges. So if you child draws a picture of a mean kid in school doing something hurtful ask them to create what they could do instead. Allow them the opportunity to get really creative, again it's not about what you think they should do, but instead allowing them to create their own solutions, however "out there" or silly it may seem. This allows for divergent thinking, essential in developing resilience and creating life long skills for success.

If you need more support we can help, contact us at info@thecreativityqueen.com

3 simple strategies to help your child with the transition back to school

2009-08-11T15:16:00.000-07:00

How to make this school year your child’s best year yet!

It’s almost back to school time for those of us who live in FL. It is so interesting to see how the school year impacts children and families. I find that during summer time there are fewer power struggles between parents and children. Perhaps because there is not such a rigid schedule to adhere to? Could it be there is no (or little) homework? Maybe everyone is in a different mood because it’s summer and there’s just less pressure on everyone? Whatever the reason, wouldn’t it be nice to have a school year that is less stressful and more positive?

Here are some creative tips to achieve a balanced positive school year:

1. Develop a schedule. Create a white board of activities and schedule so your child knows what to expect during the week. Why? Because it creates a sense of safety and consistency, so you child will know what happens when. So take 15 minutes before the start of the school year and sit down with your child and create a schedule together. What time they wake up, what things they need to do in the morning, what extra curricular activities they have in the evening, what time they can relax and have free-time, dinner time, when they will do chores, when they will do their homework, when they have TV- computer time. A schedule provides an outline for how to plan the day, and of course it is flexible (you don’t want to create rigid schedule dependent children). Why do schedules work? Because they provide a map of when things happen, so the things that tend to be a power struggle, such as homework time and TV-computer time, are clearly defined. Creating a schedule prior to the school year allows you to be proactive and helps your child learn how to take responsibility for their time. You’re no longer nagging to get them to turn off the TV and do homework, rather it’s part of the agreed upon schedule and if they don’t follow through the consequence is clear (no TV for the night, etc). Schedules work- if you follow though!

2. Ask for support. It bewilders me to see parents and children get into power struggles over homework. It’s a terrible cycle of the parent nagging and trying to get the child to do the work, and the child resisting the more the parent demands. This cycle never works and it only leaves the parties involved frustrated, angry, and stressed out. I highly recommend that parents seek out help for homework struggles. Hire a tutor, or even a high school or college student, if you are on a budget. This is an example of needing and seeking support. If homework is a problem at a young age start seeking outside help ASAP. The longer homework is an issue between you and your child the less likely he/she will want to receive outside help. So do your child a favor and start giving them support at a young age. If your child is anxious or nervous about school offer them the same support, find resources where they can practice feeling more comfortable and confident and where they can learn new skills to deal with school stressors. If you provide them with a safe opportunity to explore their strengths and resources you will see a remarkable shift in how they manage the problems that arise during the school year.

3. Play together! I see many families who have a jammed packed schedule of taking their child to sports, or lessons, or other after school programs. They are chauffeuring them from school, to activities, to play dates, and to appointments leaving little time for families just to be together and have fun. When families do land back home it’s time to get dinner together, do homework, and other household tasks. When everyone does finally end up in the same room are you all focused on what’s on TV? Adding play to your schedule is essential. You model to your child that play is valuable and it’s restorative. You are also teaching them self-soothing skills they can use later in life when they encounter problems. Play comes in all different forms, from going places, to doing fun activities together, to taking a walk or bike ride, to getting a pedicure, to reading together, or baking something for fun. When you play together you are building your relationship in positive ways, you are connecting from a positive place, rather than a place of being a reactive parent. You are also sharing a life lesson with your child- that life is not all about work and “doing”, it’s about taking care of yourself, about connecting with others, and about honoring your needs. What a beautiful gift to share with your child!

Euna Lee and Laura Ling reunited with family- how will this imact little Hanna?

2009-08-05T10:38:00.000-07:00

Couldn't help but cry in joy seeing the families of Euna Lee and Laura Ling reunited. How will this impact their little daughter, Hanna? Imagine the traumatic experience of not being with your mother and having a difficult time understanding why she couldn't return home. Although there must be great happiness for Hanna today, how will her experiences of her mother's absence impact her. There will be a long period of healing for this family and it will take time for Hanna and her family to feel safe again. It is during periods of trauma and loss that we are reminded of the value of art therapy with children. Although Hanna may never be able to put into words what she is feeling, she may be able to create images to allow her to process her feelings and find new ways of creating safety.

Are you sharing too much information with your child?

2009-07-30T14:32:00.000-07:00

TMI: Too much information?

Recently I've been hearing lots of parents talk about how much is too much information (TMI) when they are talking with their children. Often it's difficult to understand what are healthy boundaries. There is a tendency for parent to over explain situations. I see this happening with young children, whereby a parent will offer a lengthy explanation to their child why they can't have a snack right now. The parent often is providing way too much information and justification as the child melts down into tantrums. This not only happens with toddlers, but I see it in teens and young adults too. Parents lovingly offer up lengthy reasons why their teen shouldn't do something and the teen launches into their version of a teen tantrum with whining, eye rolling, and anger.

Yes, modeling personal boundaries is essential to developing a healthy sense of self in your child. They need to hear you say "no" and they need to learn how to cope with the feelings around not getting what they want. However, there are many ways to set boundaries. You can set a boundary use a brief (one-two sentences) reason why. If it reasonable, allow you child a different choice or an opportunity to come up with a different idea. If you are firm on your decision do not launch into TMI lecture mode, this gives your child a reason to default to tantrums. Here's how you can use this simple strategy with your kids tonight and see changes in how you communicate.

For example, your child wants a candy bar before dinner.

Too much information:
Instead of saying, "You can't have a candy bar you know it's dinner time, you are always wanting to eat something before supper, why don't you do something else instead, like take the dog for a walk, or help me out in the kitchen..."

You could respond this way:
"No you can't have a candy bar before dinner, you can have an apple or grapes instead". (Do not say anything more. If they default to whining mode remind them ONE time of their choice and do not saying anything more)

For example, your pre-teen wants to go to a party with some friends.

Too much information:
Instead of saying, "You're always asking me to go to these parties and I tired of hearing about how all your friends are doing it, because we are not your friends parents, they let them do what ever they want ..."

You could respond this way:
"I don't feel comfortable with you being at this party without knowing who will be there. So I need to talk to the parents before hand if you'd like to go." (Do not say anything more. If they default to whining mode remind them ONE time of their choice and do not saying anything more)

For example, you and your spouse have been arguing in front of the children.

Too much information:
Instead of saying, "Your father is so annoying I can't stand it when he acts like that, he's always doing things to get me mad..."

You could respond this way:
"Your father and I have been not getting along recently and I am sorry you have had to hear us arguing. We are doing our best to try to communicate better and will try to be respectful of your feelings."

When you master TMI you can use it all sort of situations without becoming upset and reactive and you will teach your child healthy and respectful communication. Try it tonight and see how it works. If you need more support we can help, contact us at info@thecreativityqueen.com

Why your behavior may be the cause of your relationship problems and what you can do about it: A lesson learned from my garden hose!

2009-07-15T07:41:00.000-07:00

I was working in my garden this morning and found myself struggling with pulling my garden hose from the hose box. As I struggled I began thinking about what we often do when we are stuck trying to solve a problem in our relationships and keep spinning our wheels getting really nowhere.

Let me tell you my lesson learned from grappling with the garden hose. So I set out to water my garden, which is in desperate need of watering and some TLC. I find my garden is a place I can go to when I want some inspiration; however, I was unable to unwind my hose from the box and found that less than inspiring.

I pulled the hose, but it didn't work. So I tried to unwind it from the inside, still nothing. I stood on the box (I know you're not supposed to do that, but I was getting pretty desperate), still no luck. At this point the hose in the box is so jammed I can't get to the attachment to unscrew it. I'm fairly hot, my mood is not so pleasant, my back is aching and I'm thinking about adding the hose task to the "honey do" list.

I stop for few minutes and really think what I want to do. I think about my alternatives. Maybe getting the watering can and going about watering, but that would take a long time. I think about the outcome. If I don't water today some of my plants will shrivel up and die in the heat. I think about waiting for my husband to solve the problem. I'll have to let go of when it will be done, which means my plants may fry. OK, I make a decision I will water today; I am committed to keeping my plants alive. I decide to try tackling the hose one more time before I get the watering can. Since using force doesn't work, and the hose is too tangled in the box, I decide I must try a different route. I found the attachment that links the hose to the outside of the box unscrew it and slowly and gently begin to unravel the hose.

This menial task that took me almost thirty minutes got me thinking about how we approach problems in our relationships. I started to think about the cycle that we default into when problems arise with others in our lives. Often someone we love will say or do something that triggers us. When this happens we may launch into the cycle of being reactive, this can show up as passive/resistant behavior or aggressive/angry behavior. So someone will do or say something that will push your buttons and all of a sudden you are reacting without thinking about what it is that you want and what you need to do to covey what you want.

My struggle with the hose annoyed me and I was reacting by pulling and shoving the hose. It didn't work; it didn't get me what I wanted. So by stopping and thinking about what I wanted, what are my alternatives, what's my desired outcome, and what I am committed to, I found a way to solve the problem. If in your relationships you default to being reactive, try stopping and thinking about what is you want (to be heard, to be understood, to have someone do something) what are your alternatives (wait until you cool down before you respond, ask for something, find a different way to share what you are feeling), what is your desired outcome (to have a closer relationship where there is trust and mutual respect) and what are you committed to (wanting better relationships, making changes in the way you react to others)? Sometimes it's really hard to break out of a pattern of reactivity. Sometimes having someone else help you unravel your proverbial hose in a frustrating and overwhelming situation makes the process of change easier. We would be happy to help you and your family members find new creative ways to improve your communication and build happier relationships. If you'd like help contact us info@thecreativityqueen.com.

Do’s and Don’ts to Keeping a Teen Party Safe

2009-07-13T12:31:00.001-07:00

Do’s and Don’ts to Keeping a Teen Party Safe

Posted using ShareThis

Using art therapy to help your child (and yourself) when problems arise!

2009-06-15T17:21:00.000-07:00

I had an amazing and inspiring story told to me recently and I wanted to share it with you. If you have ever experienced a challenge or a setback you may have found yourself overwhelmed and confused. As a parent if you have seen your child encounter an obstacle you may have watched as they fell part emotionally trying to figure it out. We all deal with things in a different way; there is no right (or wrong) way to feel when we encounter adversity, however we have a choice what to do in these situations. A mom I know shared with me her daughter's story and they gave me permission to share it with you.

The mom noted her daughter, "had a huge bombshell yesterday morning, and will be resolving the issue over the next week. The college she was attending didn't announce which majors they were dropping until yesterday, and she found out that hers is being dropped. She would have 2 years to complete it, but that can't be done. She had it all mapped out already, and knows that she needs 5 semesters. At first she was pretty upset, but she rebounded quickly. Her choice is changing her major or transferring. There are less than 100 schools that offer the major in the country, and all would be quite costly. Within a few hours she found a related major that should work with what she already has taken, and will let her pursue the same field. Her last comment was that maybe it will actually open more doors that I don't even know about yet". The mom remarked, "I was amazed at the resiliency she had, because she has been so focused in her studies"!

What can we all learn from this remarkable story of graceful resilience? That we all encounter obstacles in life and we are the ones who choose what we decide to do with our experiences. As parents you can allow your child to learn and grow from their experiences. Protecting them from scrapes and tears will not serve them in the long run and sometimes adversity shows us just how remarkable we truly are!

Change is good and we are planning some positive changes over the summer, so keep checking back! I hope the story and the feature article inspires you when you encounter an opportunity for change.

Feature Article: "When you encounter an obstacle what do you do?"

We all want to teach children to be resourceful and resilient. As adults we see the necessity of learning how to cope with difficulties and find the strength and resources to overcome adverse situations. No matter who you are, and how you were raised, there will be times when you encounter problems and you must decide what to do.

Obstacles are opportunities in disguise. Understanding this statement may help you the next time your child (or you) encounters a problem. When your child encounters a problem they are building up their natural abilities to create solutions and figure out how to do or think differently. Our "emergency response system " to the problems we encounter starts to be developed in childhood. If a child learns to get their needs met by a specific behavior they will continue that behavior. Even if they do not get their needs met they may repeat the same behaviors due to learned helplessness.

Think about your own moments when you've struggled with a problem you have no control over. What type of behavior did you exhibit? When this happened did you melt down in tears, stuff your feelings, push through the obstacle, blame others, act helpless, or act out? If you've had these moments you've probably slipped into childlike thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. I'm guessing that you didn't have a parent or adult that modeled appropriate ways to get your needs met or how to communicate what you needed. Although we've all had these moments we can teach children a different way to cope with adversity.

Here are a few things you can do:

1. Lovingly let them struggle

Yup! Sometimes when you jump in to help too quickly you take away an opportunity for your child to learn how to overcome the problem. Unless it is a safety issue, give your child some space to figure it out before you step in. Do this in a gentle loving manner.

2. Offer support not solutions

Rather than jumping in and coming up with answers for them allow your child a chance to talk about their options. Just by listening you allow them an opportunity to figure things out on their own. This works wonderfully with teens!

3. Let them know you love them

Sometimes their solutions will be different than yours. That's OK. They are learning to figure it out in their own way. Reinforce that you love them even when you may not love their choices.

An art activity for you :

As adults when we encounter obstacles and revert back to childlike behaviors we have an opportunity for a "do-over". We can give ourselves what we didn't get as children. Pull out the finger paints or some messy art materials the next time you feel overwhelmed by an obstacle. Create two images. The first image create what you are feeling- allow yourself to express all your emotions. In the second image create marks, colors, and words your inner child would like to hear to help soothe and comfort that aspect of yourself. If you'd like to share your artwork send us an email, we'd love to hear from you.

SCORE Helps Entrepreneur Find a Creative New Direction

2009-05-15T14:16:00.000-07:00

SCORE Helps Entrepreneur Find a Creative New Direction

Laura Dessauer decided to put her master's degree in art therapy to use aiding children through her Sarasota business, Creativity Queen LLC. Laura met with Manasota SCORE mentor Wally Bishop for 25 mentoring sessions.

She opened her firm in November 2006, just as the Florida economy was beginning to slide. Together with Wally, she developed her strategic plan, trademarked her logo and planned a sales strategy. She wrote a book using the character she created, "Creativity Queen."

Wally helped Laura identify opportunities that included multiple product lines to give her more revenue options. She not only offers direct art therapy, but she’s expanded her business into 12-week courses for children, plus a book and DVD available commercially.

SCORE provided mentoring on business planning, sales planning, financing, leasing, marketing planning and publishing. Laura Dessauer was honored by Manasota SCORE as client of the year in 2007 for her first year of success. She says the SCORE honor brought her publicity and credibility and helped more people find out about her business.

"What I learned from SCORE continues to help me make it through the recession. SCORE mentoring helped prepare me, so I could double revenue for four months and have a cushion as the recession continues."

—Laura Dessauer, owner, Creativity Queen

Laura's first year in business was profitable and she added her first employee. Her second year revenue grew 20 percent and she continued to be profitable. As the recession took hold in Florida, Laura says, "SCORE helped me lay the foundation, so I could be nimble and effective in adjusting my product offerings in the fall of 2008. SCORE mentoring helped prepare me, so I could double revenue for four months and have a cushion as the recession continues."

Laura adds, "I wholeheartedly recommend SCORE. The business experience and knowledge my counselor shared helped guide me through unfamiliar territory and set up a path forward to meet my goals. What I learned from SCORE continues to help me make it through the recession. I'm ahead in revenue for 2009. I'll be back in touch with my mentor to brainstorm ideas and look ahead to the next six months and how to stay profitable in 2009."

From the SCORE website: http://www.score.org/success_creativity_queen.html

CREATIVITY QUEEN MAKES NATIONAL NEWS!

2009-05-15T14:14:00.000-07:00

The Creativity Creativity Queen's success is featured on SCORE's national website and in the Statement to the U.S. House Small Business Committee Subcommittee on Rural Development, Entrepreneurship and Trade U.S. House of Representatives on April 2, 2009!

Art Therapy and Employment

2009-05-06T08:57:00.000-07:00

National Institutes of Health (CLICK HERE) has a tremendous amount of information that will help with answering any art therapy questions you may have about the profession, salary, requirements and much more. This is well worth your time to read and if you have any comments or questions please post them!

Help my child survive and thrive the last few weeks of school teleclass

2009-05-01T10:40:00.000-07:00

Want to help your child manage their end
of the school year stress?

It is the end of the school year and you are feeling overwhelmed! If so, I understand. Many of the families I see in my private practice are feeling the same way. I'm hearing from parents that they are burnt out, overwhelmed, and exhausted trying to help their child deal with the end of the year stress.

So I wanted to share with you some of the easy successful strategies that have helped other parents help their children through this stressful time.

What if your child ended the year on a HIGH note?

It may be hard to imagine, but it is possible! I've had the opportunity to witness this with many of the families I see. Because the end of the year is looming and I know it is possible for your child be successful, I have decided to share what works!

No more nagging, no more blaming,

no more arguing, wouldn't that be nice?

Join me on three teleclasses where I share strategies that have helped 1,000 of families over the last 20 years. I promise you will learn specific steps to help your child end their school year in a positive manner.

Three 1-hour teleclasses cover the following topics:
The Top 5 Problems your child may be encountering and what you can do about it.
The biggest mistakes parents make and some simple solutions that work.
Why nagging, blaming, and arguing do not work, and what you can do instead.
Creating accountability, responsibility, and success with a simple strategy.
BONUS: Live Question and Answer online forum.

Three LIVE 1-hour sessions with me costs $450.00.
The teleclasses are only $47 for all three classes ( A huge savings of $403.00)

Merchant Account

Here's the BEST PART: if you can't listen to the teleclasses live
you can listen to them at ANY TIME!

Classes Thursdays May 7th, May 14th,and May 21st from 10:00-11:00am
When you sign up we'll send you a link and you can either listen to
the teleclass live on your phone or computer,
or listen to the recording at a later time.
EASY and parent friendly!

It is my heartfelt desire to help your child have a successful school year. I hope you will join me as I give you the strategies to support your child, teaching them tools that will last beyond the end of the school year.

Mom who kicked her children out of the car- What are your thoughts?

2009-04-29T10:53:00.000-07:00

Almost every parent has felt this way. However, what is the message that you are teaching your child if you can't control your anger and you act with aggression? Many of the parents I work with have great success in helping their child get back in control through the use of consequences. When you are calm, before a car trip, explain what is expected and what the consequences will be if they don't listen (i.e not electronics for the evening). A warning tends to help- however, you must follow through or it just won't work!!

Are you raising a codependent child? Three things you need to know!

2009-04-27T09:41:00.001-07:00

Are you raising a codependent child? I know, the statement sounds quite alarmist. However, I see many children in my practice whose parents are teaching them codependent behaviors and they are not even aware of what they are doing!

Read the article below to ensure you are not doing the three things below. If you find yourself falling into these traps it is time to make a change!

Feature Article: "Are you raising a codependent child? Three things you need to know"

In the past codependency was associated with person who enabled an alcoholic or drug addict. These days codependency has become associated with emotional dependencies in a relationship. All relationships involve a dependency on another person to some extent. However, when an individual compromises their own values and wants to avoid rejection and anger they are exhibiting codependent behaviors.

The reason why this is so important for parents to understand is that its origins start in childhood. So if you are doing the following three things you may be planting the seeds of codependency.

1. Being inflexible ( or the type A- "Superparent")

If you are the type of person who has a rigid plan of how and when things are done you do not allow your child an opportunity to voice their choice. If you are so in control of their schedule, their food choices, their clothing choices, or their playmates you are restricting your child from having the opportunity to explore their choices. You send out a message loud and clear to your child that they are not responsible for their choices or decisions and someone else has all the power. As they grow older they are likely to seek out relationships in which someone else has all the power and control.

What can you do? Allow your child some freedom of choice. If it is not a safety issue then it is negotiable. Let go of the need to be in control so you child has the freedom to grow and learn, even from their mistakes!

2. Having your child meet your needs

I know many parents who fall into this trap but do not see that they are doing this. If you are not fulfilling yourself in other areas of your life, like your relationships, your work, or your passions, you may default to living vicariously thorough your child. When you spend more energy on your child's interests and less on what gives your life meaning and pleasure you model codependent self-sacrificing behaviors. You also unconsciously teach your child that their value comes from pleasing you. The cute "look mom" behavior phase that most kids go through when they want your approval may continue into adulthood.

What can you do? Get your own needs met with positive relationships and ways to replenish yourself. Instead of constant praise ask your child how they thought they did. Encourage them to self-praise.

3. Wanting to solve problems for them

When they come home and talk about a mean peer or a problem at school what do you do? Do you react and rescue, slipping into your parent problem-solver mode and coming up with a plan of action? Essentially you are taking control of their ability to solve the problems they are encountering. This sends your child the message that they are not competent or responsible enough to figure out how to solve their problems and that someone else needs to do it for them. Imagine what this will look like as they become adults? Will they find relationships in which another person will tell them what to do?

What can you do? Safety first, everything else is negotiable! If it is not a physical or psychological safety issue allow your child the opportunity to figure out how to solve the problem. If you LISTEN, without offering advice, your child will likely figure out some things they can do differently.

The reason why so many children have success in our programs is that we offer a safe place for them to explore their thoughts, feelings, and choices. When given an opportunity, children will come up with ways to solve their problems. As adults we can offer support and encouragement as they explore their choices.

One last important thing. If you find that you are doing one or more of the behaviors above, congratulations! That's right, Congratulations! Why? Because it means that you are aware of what you are doing, and awareness is the first step in making changes. So the next time you notice you are defaulting to one of the behaviors above, STOP, and explore what other things you can do. If you'd like more support we would be happy to help you. Email us at info@thecreativityqueen.com or call us at (941)504-8498.

Using art therapy to discover what is truly important to you

2009-04-03T13:42:00.000-07:00

Times are changing. Although you (or someone you know) may be experiencing fear and uncertainty, there is also opportunity for growth and clarity. If we quiet the busyness of our thoughts and our actions we can take time to reflect on our core values.

So what if we graciously set aside any fears of finances, just for a few minutes? If we acknowledged any fear or worries we've been carrying about in our head and in our hearts? Can we place these worries aside, just for a bit, so we can honestly look at what our heart is trying to tell us?

So give yourself a bit of space to really LISTEN to your inner voice.

And ask yourself gently, "What is it I long for?"

Allow yourself to use the art materials to explore this question.

As I take the time to answer this I feel my heart stir with emotions longing for hope, healing, being the light in my own life, loving speaking my truth, listening deeply to my soul, being compassionate and loving, uplifting and inspiring, by opening my heart to what's so truly important to me- family and friends, compassion and acceptance, LOVE and such pure and simple things.

Can you gently acknowledge what it is that you treasure and hold this image in your heart and in your head as you go throughout the day? As the worries or fears arise can you gracefully remind yourself of what is truly important to you?

It is in these moments of vulnerability that we can see clearly what is so important.

So how in this moment can you honor what is truly important?

Are you ready for the art of transformation?

2009-03-10T13:47:00.000-07:00

Are you looking to transform your life? Do you desire to shift from stuck thoughts and actions, trying desperately to change other people or circumstances in your life, and still experiencing more of the same?

If you are looking to tap into your creativity to 'unstuck' your life and transform your life (and the lives of those around) you then you have landed in the right spot. We are celebrating the amazing successes of the Professional Creative Solutions Certification Program Participants! These individuals are committed to making BIG BOLD changes in their lives, and the lives of others, and they are creating new ways of thinking by tapping into their creative possibilities. It is an honor to watch the shifts in their lives, and the lives of those they love, as they discover creative ways to change and grow. As one participant expressed, " I always knew these things, but never understood exactly how to express it to help others, now I get it- how simple!" So if you are ready to play big and make changes in your life we are offering a NEW Professional Creative Solutions Certification PROGRAM this Spring. Click here to learn more about this remarkable transformational process!!

Art Therapy Personal Exploration:"Selfish vs. Self love"

2009-02-24T08:20:00.000-08:00

"Selfish vs. Self love"

Have you ever been called selfish? It's a weighted word that can quickly induce guilt. Interesting enough, as adults we tend to inflict it upon ourselves and those we love quite readily. When we claim that someone is being selfish aren't we just expressing our dislike of how they are handing a situation? Aren't we just passing judgement on what someone else is doing?

If we act from a place of being "selfless", and giving others what they need, aren't we acting like martyrs or victims- and doesn't that lead to being resentful when these acts are not appreciated? It is so easy to default to these cycles of giving to others and believing our needs are secondary, that we should act "selfless". Yet, it is inevitable we will end up resentful and hurt that these pious deeds have gone unnoticed.

Can we shift to thinking about self love instead?-To the realization that when we take care of our own needs we do not ever put another person in the position of trying to meet our needs or that we are responsible for their needs. How freeing!

When we respect ourselves enough to listen to and nurture our own needs first we can be there for others in ways we never could when we are depleted, tired, overwhelmed, or just plain EMPTY.

So here's a playful art activity to help you shift from thinking your behaviors are selfish to self loving. Take a large piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side of the page use markers, crayons, or any art materials that you desire, and create images or words of things you do, think, or feel that you consider "selfish". On the other side of the paper create images or words of things you do, think, or feel, that are self-loving, self-nurturing, or self-honoring. Reflect on what you have learned about yourself through this process of self-discovery.

Art Therapy and Children: Do You Rescue?

2009-02-02T10:34:00.000-08:00

There are tremendous opportunities to learn and grow and at times this involves allowing those that we love to make choices and learn from natural consequences. There's a term for those who hover over their children's choices, helicopter parenting. These parents rush in solve the problems for their children, without allowing them an opportunity to lean and grow from their experiences. Many parents are unsure of how to support their children and are fearful of not doing the "right" thing. The feature article provides some insights to help guide you as you support and encourage your loved ones (of all ages).

If you have a relationship of any kind, with a spouse, friend, parent, or child, then you have encountered someone else making a decision you would never dream of doing. There is pain seeing that person making a choice your know in your heart is just not the "right" decision for them. Ironically, the closer we are to the person, the more we believe we know what's right for them, and often we will make comments or demands upon them, based upon our knowing what's best.

We would never dream of telling our co-worker what they are wearing is wrong and they should change, yet it becomes almost a duty to be hypercritical about what our spouse or children are wearing or doing. Often when tasks that are delegated to those in the household are not completed, we jump in to do it. Heaven forbid your child wear wrinkled clothes to school because they left their laundry on the floor.

Most parents who rescue fear what others might think or that things won't get done exactly right, or if they don't control the situation their child may fail or get hurt. Most people rescue because they love those around them and they don't want to see them hurt. However, rescuing sets up a whole new set of problems. The person you rescue doesn't get to learn from their actions. They don't learn how to self-correct, or make changes when they are off course, since they have had someone doing that for them. They don't learn how to overcome obstacles and when they do arise (and they always do) they are unprepared. I've had many young adults in my office who just didn't know how to handle tough stuff because their parents did it for them when they were growing up.

The question that most people ask is how do they know when to intervene. The first question to ask, is it a safety issue? Meaning if you don't intervene will someone get hurt physically? If it is a safety issue, step in and set a boundary. All other issues are not black and white. I love to challenging parents to talk out the choices and consequences with their children. For tasks such as homework and household chores personal accountability works wonders. Have a neutral discussion (without getting emotional about the topic) and develop a contract to help identify what will be done and what are the consequences. Contracts do work, when they are done right, meaning they are respectful of each person's needs and there is an incentive to change for both parties.

For things such as bullying at school or children who are having emotional problems a more supportive role is necessary. Parents often step in too early and attempt to stop bullying, which may cause more social problems for their children. Brainstorm with your child solutions, allow them to test some out before you become involved. If things continue to be a problem and it becomes a psychological safety issue, there may be a need for more direct involvement.

Encourage your child to take part in choosing their consequences. If they have done something wrong, ask them to come up with the consequences. You'll be amazed at how they will learn from this, with less tantrums and more personal accountability.

Here's the important part to remember, those who rescue others become resentful. They will do, and do, and do, and then finally get upset that everyone treats them disrespectfully and takes advantage of them. Stop the cycle of rescuing so you don't fall into this pattern, and you allow others an opportunity to learn.

Here's a creative activity to help you identify times when you rescue. Take out a piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On the left side write the word rescue and on the right side write the word support. Fill in the page with images and words of times when you rescue (what you say and do) and what it might look like if you supported that person instead.

Two Words That Will Change Your Life

2009-01-26T08:43:00.001-08:00

Perfectionism, as defined by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary is a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable. I see this with individuals of all ages, from the child who has a melt down because their art project doesn't look just right, to the teen who has an eating disorder because she feels in adequate, to the mom who feels like she has to stay on top of everything in the household or things will fall apart, to the professional who is driven to achieve success, yet never feels satisfied. I believe that the drive to be perfect is so ingrained in our culture from the media's portrayal of perfect homes and bodies on TV and in magazines; to our homes, where parents struggle to work, pay the bills, keep a tidy house, take their children to endless activities and appointments, monitor homework, and make last minute baked goods for the fundraiser at school.

What are the implications of living a perfectionist life and what can you do about it?

People who feel the need to be perfect judge their value based upon what they have achieved. If they fail to meet their expectations on one aspect of a project they may consider the whole project a failure. These individual's cultivate their self-worth based upon the outcomes and compare themselves against these standards (self-imposed, yet influenced by what others look like, have, or achieved).

We are all guilty of this to some extent, yet when this is the sole way we operate it becomes a concern, because whatever you do will never be good enough.You will either chase more and more things to make you feel happier, or you may just not try at all doing things that may potentially embarrass you or expose your inability.

As a parent you have a tremendous influence upon your child and if you seek perfectionism by trying to be, do, have it all, your child will do the same. If you convey to your child their self-worth is linked to what they do or how they act, you have modeled perfectionism. Rather that praising outcomes, like rewards for good grades, parents can emphasize qualities the child exhibited to achieve their goals, such as persistence and dedication. Life is a learning process, and by demanding or criticizing when things aren't just right (for your standards) you diminish learning opportunities. So rather that stepping in to solve a problem for your child or rescue them from "doing it wrong", give them an opportunity to try, offer support by asking them what they need from you. Yes, this may lead to a poor grade, a messy room, or a sibling conflict, but the rewards are so much bigger- developing problem solving skills, learning natural consequences, and the realization that what you do is different from who you are.

As an adult if you were raised with high expectations or critical parents who didn't teach you to problem solve but told you what to do instead, you may be a perfectionist. Your need for order and control may prevent you from having meaningful vulnerable relationships because of your fears that your imperfections may be exposed. Many people who are perfectionists stay really busy to avoid some of the deep feelings they have. They may be fearful of being overwhelmed with emotions, and choose to shut down or shut off their feelings. What you need to know is that your desire for psychological safety keeps you from having wonderfully open relationships. It also keeps you chronically feeling bad, because you are never good enough. Here's the secret, it's truly about self-acceptance and self-love. When you are able to embrace all aspects of yourself, things you consider both good and bad, you open the door to living a more fulfilled and happier life- not only for you, but those around you too. So here are the two words that will change your life: good enough.

If you want to explore this deeper take out some basic art materials and a big piece of paper. Make a line down the middle of the paper. On the left side make a drawing or use collage images to create an image of your critical self (however that may look) and the right side make an image of your accepting self. See what the image and the process uncovers. Practice this week saying "good enough" when you are trying too hard to do things just right.

If you'd like to learn more, click here for an easy to read article in Psychology Today.

Woman with Flower

by Naomi Long Madgett

I wouldn't coax the plant if I were you.

Such watchful nurturing would do harm.

Let the soil rest from so much digging

And wait until it's dry before you water it.

The leaf's inclined to find its own direction;

Give it a chance to seek sunlight for itself.

Much growth is stunted by careful prodding,

Too eager tenderness.

The things we love we have to learn to leave alone.

Art Therapist and Employment

2008-12-10T14:44:00.000-08:00

If you are a creative arts therapists in this economy is easy to fall into the belief that you cannot survive or thrive during this time. I am here to burst your bubble- you are absolutely wrong! Actually this is an amazing time to create opportunity and people are hungering for what you have to offer, but you may not know this.

Instead you may be stuck in limiting beliefs that you can't find work, it doesn't pay enough, they don't recognize your credentials, they want you to do things that you find, well..uumm rather insulting. I know this because when I left school with my Master's degree I remember going through the same steps. It was a bad economy, there were no art therapy jobs in the newspapers, and the places that were hiring wanted me to run BINGO. I kept banging my head over and over, thinking this can't be it! All this work and education so I can run BINGO?

The frustrating thing for me was as much as I searched there were no easy steps to take, no one pioneering the way- offering a chance to learn from what they learned. Well 0ver 10 years later I figured it out. I learned that there are things that you can to to rocket yourself professionally, and really it's not that hard (once you figure it out). Instead I spent years and THOUSANDS of dollars putting it together, so that others in the profession had a bright light to guide them through the fears and rejections to what is possible.

I want to share with you some groundbreaking information because I truly want to uplift the thinking and the status of our profession as creative arts therapists. I want to save others from the headaches and the heartaches of doing it alone.

So if you are If you are tired of working so hard to explain what creative arts therapy is and running into obstacles over and over again?

And you are ready to shift your mindset from lack, limitation, and struggle to what is possible- more ease, more success, and more money?

Come and join the Creativity Queen, an art therapist who created an AWARD WINNING business, on a FREE 30 minute call to help you see what is possible.

• Ready for more ease?

• Ready to make more money?

• Ready for more Free time?

CLICK HERE to Sign up for this FREE CALL

Hope to meet you on the call!

Art Therapy, Clarity, and Transformation

2008-12-06T06:45:00.000-08:00

If you are in a place of being suck, you know what it feels like to try things over and over again and still feel like you are emotionally and physically stuck. Art therapy offers a gift for those in transformation, an opportunity to see things differently. It is when we are able to look at our problems in a new light that we often get the"ah-ha" moment that leads to clarity and change. So you can access pre-verbal awareness, the part of your brain that processes information quickly and is linked to intuition and synthesis of ideas, through the creative process.

If you seek to see your situation from a different perspective use some simple materials such as markers, pencils, chalks, oil pastels, or crayons and create an image of all the different ways you could view the problem you are encountering. Be playful with this, you can even add 3-dimensional things like sticks, clay, play dough, feathers, pipe cleaners to explore what is possible. This accesses your divergent possibilities thinking, which may help you gain some clarity. After making art go for a walk or do an activity that allows your mind to wander, come back and journal on your insights- you'll be surprised by what comes up.

If you'd like more juicy creative ideas join us for a FREE LIVE teleclass:
click here to find out more information

Don't worry if you can't make it, register and you'll be able to download and listen to the mp3 any time after the date.

Positive Psychology and Ways to Live a Happier Life!

2008-11-11T16:39:00.000-08:00

I am a huge fan of Positive Psychology and the study of happiness, something you'll will be hearing about more and more in the news. The reason I want to share this with you is because there's some really great information you can use in your life to positively impact you and your family. The European Network for Positive Psychology describes Positive Psychology as researching optional functioning, moving towards what is right, rather than traditional pathology orientation of what is wrong (Pointon, 2006). The emphasis of Positive Psychology is to move towards happiness, affecting physical well-being, decreasing symptoms, increasing coping skills and adding to a longer, quality filled life.

American Psychologist, Martin Seligman, and his fellow researchers (Park et al., 2005) emphasize three routes to happiness: pleasure (enjoyment), engagement (active pursuit of hobbies, work, family), and meaning (using strengths for larger good). Their research suggests that individuals who purse a life of all three, with emphasis on engagement and meaning are those that claim to be most happy.

It's interesting to note that we have a bit more control over our happiness than we might imagine. The research suggests that 50% of our happiness is biological, that means 50% can be changed by our behaviors and thoughts. Interestingly enough it's NOT the external things like money and a nice car that make us happier. In fact research by Edward Diener, suggests that wealth, education, age, marital status, and weather had little influence on overall happiness. Those who reported increased levels of happiness were those with social and relationship ties, including religious community and personal relationships.

So what's the take away? We have much more control over our happiness than we could ever imagine and after getting our basic needs met, STUFF really doesn't make us much happier.

Here are 4 things you can do to live a happier life:

1. Form Relationships:
Spend time with people you care about, connect with community programs, volunteer, get involved with a religious community, visit with others, plan family nights. It is so simple, yet many of the children and adults I see feel isolated and alone. If you get involved with others and are willing to be open and receptive to have a positive relationship, you will feel happier!

2. Gratitude Visit:
Write a letter to someone you are thankful for expressing how they have contributed positively to your life. Go and deliver this letter in person. The research by Park et al., 2005 suggests you will feel happier for a month upon doing this.

3. Three Good Things in Life:
Write down three things you are grateful for each day. I know it sounds trite, but the research suggests that this intervention reduced depressive symptoms and increased happiness for six months (Park et al., 2005). How simple!

4. Using Signature Strengths in a New Way:
Signature Strengths are the things that you like doing and you are good at doing. Seligman suggests there are 24 Character Strengths. You can visit University of Pennsylvania's Positive Psychology Center's website to measure your signature Strengths. When you find out your strengths, if you use them in a new and novel way you'll likely yield long-term change in affect (you'll be happier) for up to six-months (Park et al., 2005).

Now that's something to happy about!

More about Positive Psychology:

Park, N., Peterson, C., Seligman, M. E., & Steen, T.A. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of intervention. American Psychologist, 60,
410-421.

Pointon, C. (2006). Positive Psychology. Therapy Today, 17, 4-7.

Wallis, C. (2005). The New Science of Happiness. Time Magazine.

7 Tips to Make Life Less Fearful

2008-10-28T19:07:00.001-07:00

FEAR- its a big topic these days. I'm seeing so many children, teens, and adults impacted by fear. Whether it is fear from a weak economy, fear from not doing things good enough, fear of embarrassment, or fear of spooky things in the closet, fear impacts everyone. With Halloween right around the corner you may want to use this as an opportunity to explore your (and your children's) fears.

All the Halloween decorations are a great opportunities to talk about things that are scary. Create open opportunities to explore what things you or your children are afraid of. By gently asking what kind of things are you scared of you may uncover some areas you can grow more. The creative tips below will help you create emotional safety as you explore your (and your children's) fears.

7 Tips to Make Life Less Fearful

Fear has rippled through the economy and impacted daily choices. How has it impacted the average household and what are some creative ways to reduce stress for the whole family?

As much as you would like to belive that adult worries do not impact your whole family, it's just not true. Children are tuned into their parents moods and actions. This occurs from the attachment bonds as babies and continues throughout the parent child relationship. When there is uncertainty in the household it impacts the whole family and creates a sense of feeling psychologically unsafe. You can use some of these tips to help create a feeling of safety and consistency even during fearful times.

1. Keep a schedule:
I can't stress this one enough. I know that life is filled with unexpected events that can change a schedule at any moment: however creating a schedule and doing your best to maintain it provides consistency and safety.

2. Follow through with meaningful rituals:
When families face crisis there is a tendency to isolate from others and most rituals and celebrations are diminished. It is important to honor celebrations, even at times when things are difficult. The celebration does not need to be "fake" or pretending things are fine if they are not. Instead find a way to honor the person or situation in a respectful and loving way.

3. Stay connected:
Fear, loss, and embarrassment often leads to withdrawal from others. Stay open and connected to others even in time of great difficulty. This is a powerful opportunity to allow others to support you and will deepen the relationship.

4. Do not impose adult problems on your children:
You child does not need to know the specifics about the stress you may be encountering. It is not helpful for you to share with your child your financial worries or job worries. You do not need to share specific details with your children. For instance if they ask for something you cannot afford you can answer with,
"We are choosing not to buy that right now", rather than, "We can't afford that, you know things are really hard right now and we do not have extra money for you to get whatever you want".

5. Be open without being fearful:
You can model open communication with your family without giving a message of fear. If you are talking about the state of the economy or about someone who lost their house or job you can clarify how your family is safe. For example, "That happened, but we have a savings account, a good job, our home, and each other".

6. Listen and normalize:
Sometimes listening is enough, without trying to problem solve. You can normalize feelings by letting your child know that adults have feelings like worry, fear, sadness, anger too. Talk about how it is normal to have these feelings and different ways they can express these feelings, such as journal writing, talking to a friend, petting the dog, going for a walk, etc.

7. Do something:
Cognitive behavior therapy suggests that doing something different or thinking something different will influence how you feel. If you want to reduce the worries and fear it's time to take action. Turn off the bleak news and do something pleasurable. Have an art night scheduled where everybody in the family makes something together. This is a great way to build relationships, have fun, while doing something emotionally positive and teaching valuable self-soothing skills.

Ten Tips to Help Your Children Transition Through Divorce'

2008-10-08T10:31:00.000-07:00

I keep hearing from families, "what can I do to improve my child's self-esteem so they feel better about themselves"? This is an important topic because a sense of self impacts your child's daily choices and perception of themselves. This will show up in your child's life in dilemmas such as who will I sit with at lunch, can I speak up when I feel someone is being rude, can I disagree with someone I like and still be friends, if they don't like me will that mean I am unlovable, if I make a mistake am I stupid? The power of these thoughts impact your child's self-concept. I see many adults who still struggle with these thoughts because their sense of self is dependent upon how others respond to them.

You can help your child develop their self-esteem not by excessive praise and overcompensation, but by providing them with opportunities for learning and mastery of new thoughts and actions. Mastery builds self-confidence and self discipline, these are the foundations for a positive sense of self.

If you would like to help your child learn these valuable skills sign up here for our Social Skill Building Art Group.

Feature Article: "Ten Tips to Help Your Children Transition Through Divorce"

I realize this article may not apply to all those who read my blog, yet it may be quite applicable for those families that have experienced any type of big stressors such as a family move, loss of job, loss of important friends, family illness or death, or other changes that impact the household.

Each year, more than 1 million children experience the divorce of their parents. Divorce rates peaked in 1979–1981 at 5.3 per 1000 persons and decreased by 1995 to 4.4 per 1000 persons. Approximately 50% of first marriages and 60% of second marriages end in divorce (Cohen, American Academy of Pediatrics). Moreover, the American Psychological Association notes that children of stepfamilies face higher risks of emotional and behavioral problems. Scary statistics, however, there are things you can do to help your children during a time of transition. It is important to use age appropriate explanations. Children often believe they are the cause of divorce or they can fix it. These ten tips will help your children adjust:

1. Never force your child to take sides or involve your child in an argument.

2. Don't criticize or fight with you ex in front of your child. If your child overhears you arguing explain that sometimes people say hurtful things when they are upset, however there are better ways to communicate your feelings. Discuss your concerns with your ex when your child is not present. It is not helpful to bring them into your arguments or adult discussions.

3. Respect the relationship they have with the other parent. It is important to let your children show their love to both parents and spend time with each without feeling guilty. Provide your child with reassurance that both their parents still love them even though they may only be living with one parent at a time.

4. You children know more than you think they know- so talk with them early on and often.

5. Create safety by listening and trying to understand their point of view. Don't try to rescue, overcompensate (by doing or giving them things), or problem solve. The best thing you can to is listen as they express their feelings, without judgment.

6. Be open about what is happening without giving too much unnecessary information. For example, "Your father and I are having problems and we need to separate because we cannot get along with each other".

7.Let you child know that it is not their fault and they cannot fix the problem.

8. Do not blame your ex-spouse. This creates a problem with alliances. Your child needs you to model healthy boundaries so they do not become co-dependent, feeling like they need to be responsible for another's well being.

9. Create a schedule. Children crave consistency; it is the way that they feel psychologically and physically safe. Keep a routine, even amongst the transitioning between households.

10. Let them know they are loved and you are willing to listen and try your best to answer questions they have.

Click here for more information from the AMERICAN ACADEMY OF PEDIATRICS.
Impacts of Divorce Throughout the Developmental Stages

Art Therapy and Social and Emotional Management

2008-10-05T13:59:00.000-07:00

Lack of self-worth, social anxiety, personal boundary issues, and social inhibition have been linked to poor social competency. What other attachment factors influence psychosocial development?

Bacon and Richardson (2001) suggest that the impact of physical and sexual abuse effects a child’s development of secure attachments and may lead to insecure anxious attachment, dissociation, antisocial or offending behavior, disorganized attachment, or intergenerational cycles of insecure attachments. There is a suggestion that children who have suffered from traumatic experiences lack reflexivity and are unable to develop an understanding of their and other’s mental states. Therefore, it is suggested they do not develop a “theory of the mind” and lack the ability to understand social-emotional needs in themselves and others.

Moreover, it is suggested that a theory of the mind, an understanding of another’s thoughts and feelings, is necessary to develop social competence (Villianueva Badenes, Clemente Estevan, Garcia Bacete, 2000). A child who processes social information such as reading body language, other’s intentions, emotions, and cues are believed to be more socially adaptable. It is believed that exposure to sociocultural activities and experiences with peers and family helps the child develop a theory of mind. Arranz, Artamendi, Olabarrieta, & Martin (2002) suggest a multicausal developmental approach to explain family influence on theory of the mind development. Consideration of family factors such as siblings, birth order, family size, attachment to caregiver may influence theory of mind development. Arranz et al. ( 2002) suggest the influence of family context on cognitive development. This is based upon Vigotsky’s work linking social interactions with cognitive development.

Azar (2002) suggests the research on pretend play is associated with social development. It has been theorized that children develop a theory of mind between ages of three and five and creative play may assist child in understanding that thoughts influence actions and emotions. Does pretend play support thinking as another would before a child fully comprehends another’s thoughts? The use of playing roles allows a child to emulate what they see others do. For example playing mother to a doll the child may respond to the hungry baby by feeding it. This type of creative play allows children to put themselves in another person’s situation and respond as they would, suggesting a development of theory of the mind. Can a child utilize the creative art process to strengthen the understanding of social interactions? From the work I’ve done with children, especially those who exhibit inflexibility, poor relationship skills, and language delays I have noted the use of building and playing with clay characters allow for an increase in social interactions. Perhaps it allows for a psychological safety of playing out behaviors with a character, rather than self? Perhaps this is linked to pretend play, whereby a child may be open to a repertoire of responses that they are emulating and might not otherwise express? It is often via the use of creative play that these children increase flexibility and develop relationship skills.

Resilient Children and Creative Problem Solving

2008-09-30T20:37:00.000-07:00

Resilient children are children who are adaptable despite circumstances, challenges, and traumatic events. These children are able to develop, as their peers, despite encountering adverse circumstances (p. 378-379).

Children who encounter protective factors tend to be more resilient. Protective factors are influences that decrease the effects of stress and trauma and allow a child to develop positively. Protective factors include positive relationships and positive cognitive functioning (p. 379). Perhaps due to their personality, intelligence or relationships they have encountered, resilient children are able to adapt and overcome stressful childhood experiences. Resilient children tend to have a positive connection with a parent, caregiver or with an important person in their life, such as a teacher or counselor.

A social worker friend and I came up with the word for to describe these care giving individuals, “cookie people”. People who give warmth and compassion, who model positive behaviors and give love and guidance. In our experiences we found children who did not have “cookie people” in their lives are more likely to have more severe mental health and behavioral issues, and have difficulty connecting with others (such as ODD/ CD children).

Moreover, intelligence and creative problem solving tend to allow a child to learn adaptive skills necessary for survival and development. Because these children are adaptable and intelligent, they in turn may attract “cookie people”, such as teachers or school personnel. Many of the homeless teens I worked with were resilient adolescents. They found school personnel willing to advocate for them and were likely to stay in school and graduate, despite experiencing traumatic and abusive childhoods from primary caregivers. These children found school to be a safe haven from the abuse and neglect they experienced and relied on the school to provide a consistent and encouraging environment (including the basics such as free breakfasts/lunches). Often these teens’ intelligence, coupled with their personalities, created situations where adults wanted to advocate for their interests.

Children who have had long-term trauma or abuse or multiple risk factors tend to have more difficulty adapting than children who had a single incident or only one negatively impacting risk factor.

Reference

Papalia, D. E., Olds, S. W., & Feldman, R. D. (2004). Human Development (9th ed.). Boston: McGraw Hill.

Art Therapy and Self Concept/ Self-Esteem

2008-09-21T06:06:00.000-07:00

Parents often come to me as an art therapist asking how they can help improve their child's self-esteem. Let's look at the root of self-esteem, self- concept, and how art therapy may help.

Self-concept is a snap shot of our perceptions of who we are, our abilities and traits. Self-concept is derived from a cognitive construct of how we feel about ourselves and what actions we take as a result. It involves self-definition, characteristics that describe and support our self-concept (p. 269). As a child matures they move from single representations, a one-dimensional perspective of themselves. At age four a child may see their behaviors and emotions as “black and white”. During this concrete stage a child believes conflicting emotions cannot exist simultaneously. At this stage a child cannot differentiate their real self, the person they are vs. their ideal self, the person they desire to be (p. 270).

As a child matures between ages 5-6 they begin to develop representational mapping, connecting images and ideas about one’s self. However, they continue to use black and white concrete thinking and cannot delineate juxtaposing thoughts (p. 270).

As a child enters into middle childhood they develop representational systems, a development of self-worth via multi-dimensional concepts that incorporate conflicting thoughts about themselves.

Self-esteem is the part of our selves that evaluates our self-concept, and helps to form judgment about our self worth. Although a child cannot articulate concepts of self-worth until middle childhood, a younger child tends to rely on adults to evaluate and support their self-worth. Again, all or nothing thinking influences a child’s self-worth. They see themselves as all good or all bad, until middle childhood (p. 272-273). A child may evaluate self-esteem based on successes and failures. This externalized evaluation of self-esteem may develop into “helplessness” pattern of self-criticism and self-blame. A child’s understanding that they can change their behaviors and thoughts can help a child develop a stronger sense of self-worth. Children whom believe their attributes are fixed may suffer from low self-esteem (p. 273).

Art therapy may be helpful in developing a child's sense of competency in other ways beyond traditional therapy. It is understood that a child needs to develop a sense of self-worth, often this is done through mastery and competency. Meaning, your child delights in learning that allows them to be challenged, yet provides them opportunities to be successful. The creative process is aligned with helping children stretch themselves learning a new challenging skill that allows them to work through their frustrations, offers challenges, and opportunities for new ways of thinking and responding, and creates an outcome or a goal they are working towards. It is the challenge of using the art materials and working to learn new ways to communicate and express one's self that leads to a sense of mastery, and consequently a greater sense of self.

Papalia, D. E., Olds, S. W., & Feldman, R. D. (2004). Human Development (9th ed.). Boston: McGraw Hill.

CBT (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) and Art Therapy for Depression

2008-09-09T07:17:00.000-07:00

If you are suffering from depression there has been a tremendous amount of research that suggests that Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is an effective form of treatment. The recent research on positive psychology that suggests it may be complementary to CBT interventions as it relates to depression. Moreover, how can we use art therapy to reinforce these theories and interventions?

Garratt, Ilardi, and Karwoski (2006) offer a compelling article on the integration of cognitive behavioral and positive psychology for the treatment of depression. The authors present the two primary goals of cognitive behavioral therapy, modifying dysfunctional thoughts and creating long-term cognitive skills to reduce relapse. The meteoric popularity of CBT as a treatment modality arose with Beck’s research of CBT and depression. However, studies suggest that long-term recovery is sustained in less than half of the clients who receive CBT for treatment of depression. It is the implication of long term success with clients that leads the authors to explore the principles of positive psychology as it relates to cognitive behavioral therapy.

The article suggests the conceptual overlap between CBT interventions and positive psychology approach, including a strong therapeutic alliance, focus on distinct goals, here-and-now focus, cognitive reappraisal, and client collaboration. Moreover, the authors suggest there is an overlap in techniques that are congruent in both CBT and positive psychology. Both encourage pleasant activities scheduling, identifying and reviewing success experiences, mood monitoring, relaxation training, and problem-solving. The authors suggest that positive psychology can provide CBT with the opportunities to move beyond removing negative affect, consequently moving the client towards positive affect, influencing quality of life. The positive psychology constructs that could blend with CBT to reduce depression and enhance over all well-being include: capitalizing on strengths, instilling hope, flow (being absorbed in the moment while engaged in an activity), mindfulness (being fully present), addressing unsolvable problems, optimism training, meaning, physical exercise, and humor.

The aforementioned interventions blend well with art therapy. Using art the art therapist can capitalize on the inherent creative strengths of the individual. Creating a picture of what the individual can imagine as a possible positive outcome can instill a sense of hope and provide a tangible road map to achieve their goals. Flow and mindfulness occurs when the individual is fully present in the creative process and is often accomplished in an art therapy session. The art making process can be used to explore choices for problems that appear unsolvable, and create meaning and purpose for the individual. Therefore, art therapy offers a bridge to CBT and positive psychology by the process of using therapeutic art interventions that reinforce the tenants of these two theories.

Reference

Garratt, G.M., Ilardi, S.S., & Karwoski, L. (2006) On the integration of cognitive- behavioral therapy for depression and positive psychology. The Journal of Cognitive Psychotherapy, 20,159-170.

Autism and Asperger's Syndrome and Creativity

2008-09-06T10:47:00.000-07:00

An historical overview suggests an initial case of autism was identified in 1747, marked by the symptoms similar to what is diagnosed as autism spectrum disorder today, abnormality or language and cognition, obsessive behavior and mannerism, poor social skills (Wolff 2004). It was over the last 100 years that autistic mannerism was identified and not until the 1900’s was the distinct diagnosis for autism made. Interesting “Victor the wild boy of Aveyron” was viewed as having autistic behavior. However, in the 1900’s autistic behaviors were classified with mental retardation and psychosis. Kanner became aware of the divergence of symptoms of autistic children from children diagnosed with psychosis. However, during this period in history children were often treated with psychoanalysis and parents were deemed the root of etiology. In 1981 Wing developed the diagnosis of Asperger’s and autistic spectrum disorders (ASD). Throughout the years the conviction of what causes autism has changed. It is not longer believed that poor parenting leads to autism or that autism is among the group of schizophrenias, or that genetics or the MMR vaccine may be the cause. Because the number of children being diagnosed with autism has jumped 10 times over the last 20 years, public awareness has increased; consequently treatments, however controversial, have been on the rise (Ulick 2005). One in 166 children are diagnosed with autism and boys are diagnosed 4 times more than girls.

Macintosh & Dissanayake (2004) explored the distinction between high functioning autism and Asperger’s syndrome by an exhaustive literature review. This review was complied to help in the diagnosis and differentiation of the two disorders. It is interesting to note that despite the prevalent usage of the term Asperger’s Syndrome, the DSM has only recently included Asperger’s as a discrete category in its classification. The similarities between the two disorders include impairment of socialization, imagination and communication. The authors attempt to find differentiations of the two diagnoses to aid in assessment and individualized treatment. Despite the extensive research review, the authors’ find little quantifiable differences that would separate Asperger’s from the autistic spectrum disorder. A noteworthy theory proposes that language development of children with Asperger’s allows for more functional development of secondary gains, such as social skills development, where as autism may limit language development and consequently impact social and perceived cognitive development.

Ulick (2005) offers definitions and treatment recommendations for ASD. Individuals with autism present more severe language problems, limited interest in others, repetitive behaviors, resistance to change, and irrational routines. Individuals with Asperger's are stated to have stronger verbal skills, but experience difficulty with reading social situations, and sharing enjoyment, and tend to have obsessive interests. Ulick (2005) describes PDD-NOS: Known as 'atypical autism,’ whereby individuals have less severe social impairments. In addition, Childhood Disintegrative Disorder (CDD) occurs after 2 to 4 years of normal growth, then autism like symptoms develop. Rett Syndrome: is akin to CDD, but symptoms occur earlier and it if mostly seen in girls.

Ulick (2005) discusses options for children and families who are impacted by ASD. Multiple therapies can be use in treatment, including speech and occupational therapy, ABA, Applied Behavioral Analysis offers positive reinforcement for the acquisition of language and social skills, Floor Time model consists of a child-directed approach that stresses personal interactions, while introducing variables within the relationship, TEACCH taps into the child’s interests to motivate them to learn in a structured environment, Social Stories incorporates stories to teach social skills and insight into others’ perspectives, PECS uses pictures to build communication skills, and RDI, which encourages experience sharing, relationship building and parental involvement. In addition, prescriptive medications do not treat the core of the symptoms, however there are used to help in modifying behavioral issues. Medications include
Risperidone an anti-pyschotic used to decrease aggression and hyperactivity, SSRIs which may reduce repetitive behaviors, anticonvulsants like Depakote are being used to treat aggression, and stimulants such as Ritalin may lessen hyperactivity.

My work involves using RDI / Floor Time to develop a master-apprentice relationship. Within this relationship and within the consistency of the setting new variables are introduced to help the client self-regulate and modify their behaviors. Often this is with the content that the client has created, i.e. I see several children who have our sessions be TV shows (per their request). They structure the TV show format, so there is a sense of consistency, and the shows are the same each week (one teen is the star of his own art show and paints pictures, another younger client has a show with clay characters he has made). Within these shows I introduce new “plots” i.e. new picture ideas to paint, a new problem for the clay characters to solve. The latest thinking on ASD has changed from ABA, teaching children scripts for eye contact and cueing them to say hello, to a more genuine relationship based model (Gutstein 2000). The latest models contradict ABA, suggesting that these children adapt too well to consistent patterns, which they try to replicate often via self-stimulation behaviors. Instead of teaching more “rote” learning (ABA), teaching them to be flexible, to manage frustrations in an ever changing environment, to help them develop self-regulation by developing episodic memory of their successes will be much more meaningful for these individuals. Needless to say ABA professionals are at odds with these new findings and it will be interesting to see how professionals adapt in the upcoming years to meet the needs of this vastly emerging population.

References

Gutstein, S.E. (2000). Solving the relationship puzzle. Arlington, Texas: Future Horizons.

Macintosh, K. E. & Dissanayake, C. (2004). Annotation: the similarities and the differences between autistic disorder and Asperger’'s disorder: a review of empirical evidence. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 45(3), 421-434.

Ulick, J. (2005). What to watch for. Newsweek, 145(9), 48-49.

Wolff, S. (2004). The history of autism. European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 13(4), 201-208.

Art Therapy and Breathing Techniques

2008-08-28T07:34:00.000-07:00

No matter what age you are these easy tips will help you feel more focused and centered.

Science reminds us just how important our breath is. We breathe and oxygen flows to our brain, we feel more relaxed, and ready to face challenges. So I invite you to try some of these breathing reminders below:

1. Belly breath
Get comfy with your feet on the floor. Inhale and notice where your breath is coming from. If it is in your chest start to image with each breath you inhale your breath moves lower and lower until it is finally in you belly. Imagine your belly balloon filling up then deflating. Try this for a minute; you'll be surprised how good it feels.

2. Superhero breath
Sometimes when you get really frustrated it's hard to concentrate, that's when it is handy to use your superhero breath. Not only is it helpful, but it is fun too! Pretend you are a superhero and use your full force powerful breath to blow away whatever is bothering you. It is so silly and fun you will feel better immediately- and no superhero tights are required!

3. Blow bubbles
You can do this with your imagination or with real bubbles. Blow big bubbles and imagine they are the worries you have. Exhale gently and name them as you watch them float away into the sky.

4. Happy Birthday
Imagine you have a big superfabulicious birthday cake with 100 candles on it. Then inhale through your nose and slowly exhale gently blowing out all the candles on the cake. It's your celebration so smile and enjoy!

Us can use the art materials to reinforce any of these breathing tools. For belly breathing you can pick a color chalk pastel the represents calm and color in a page of paper, inhaling and exhaling while coloring. For superhero breath use modeling clay or pencils/markers to make your own personal superhero. For blowing bubbles draw bubbles of worries then literally blow them away by shredding the paper into little bits and blowing them. Finally, create a big birthday cake ( clay or drawing) and have fun blowing out your candles and celebrating yourself!

Art Therapy - Autism and Asperger's Syndrome

2008-08-26T14:49:00.000-07:00

The work I've been doing as an Art Therapist began with Choice Theory via the Glasser Institute, empowering clients to identify behaviors and them make better choices. This resonates especially with adolescents whom are at a stage in their lives where they want more autonomy and freedom, yet may make inconsistent choices to meet their desired needs. Another aspect is the unhappiness that can come from not having the relationship you want with the important people in your life. Choice Theory became my foundation in Art Therapy. When I was introduced to Greenspan's model of Floor Time (and more recently RDI) I was thrilled that the foundation of development was built on the relationships and respect for the individual (where he/she is at).

Art is so congruent with this model. As an Art Therapist I join the child at their cognitive/social developmental level. The creative process of art making and creative play allows for a child to move into the psychosocial stage of industry vs. inferiority. During this period a child with ASD can use the creative process to develop competency and mastery, this allows for further development of their self-esteem and consequently increases relationship development. Moreover, the art materials allow the child to develop from a sensorimotor cognitive basis of organizing activities in relation to the environment into a representational system of art making that allows for symbols to represent people, places and events.

The creative process allows for the development of concrete operations needed to solve problem logically. By using art materials a child can express themselves and receive acceptance and support from an Art Therapist. By allowing the child to progress through the developmental stages with support, a child will create art that represents preoperational thinking and may move toward concrete, then abstract thinking. The art making process not only allows for cognitive and social development, but is also a excellent means to help increase language acquisition and relationship building. It is empowering for a child to create an image that reflects their feelings. With the support of an Art Therapist a child can use the art as a means of exploring their feelings, power and mastery, choice making and relationships.

Art Therapy and Art Therapists Florida (FL): Helpful Information on the Business of Art Therapy

2008-08-24T07:50:00.000-07:00

Careerbuilder.com listed art therapists as one of the top ten hot careers for 2007. In addition, there has been an explosion in research and interest linked to creativity and “flow” (Csikszentmihalyi, 1996). Mainstream media has embraced mind, body, spirit connection and there is an awareness of alternative health treatment. There is a more mainstreamed acceptance of alternative therapies and the use of coaching (another unregulated profession) beyond business into the realms of life coaching, wellness coaching, parent coaching, etc. It is this mainstreamed awareness that is influencing the purchases of Cultural Creatives, (Lawless, 1997) the 24% of the population who are interested in sustainability, gobalism, alternative healthcare, spirituality, women’s issues, and self-actualization. In addition, 6% of the population are Inner Directive and are creative and orientated towards inner growth (Lawless, 1997). These are the consumers that are attracted to art therapy.

My past experience has been as an art therapist in private practice since 1997. Prior to graduating with my master’s degree in art therapy I worked in the human service field and have a total of eighteen years experience. When I lived in Upstate New York State I was a licensed creative arts therapist in private practice for ten years. This practice evolved out of the necessity to educate others about the benefits of art therapy, since there was little knowledge of the profession in the rural town I lived in. During that time I worked in 16 school districts with at-risk adolescents, ran groups at my practice, and presented at agencies, colleges, and hospitals.

When I moved to FL two years ago I shifted my practice from an emphasis of at-risk children and families to short-term solution orientated therapy influenced by Positive Psychology and Choice Theory. This shift came as a result of multiple conditions. Again I encountered obstacles regarding my chosen profession. In FL there is no licensure for art therapists, which means there is no regulation of title protection and anyone can state they are using art therapy. Although there is regulation from the American Art Therapy Association (AATA), there are minimal attempts to regulate scope of practice in states that do not recognize licensure. The major obstacle besides educating the public was the issue with lack of third party reimbursement. However, this issue has become an asset in practice. Because I cannot diagnose and fees are paid out of pocket I can address an issue a child or teen has been having without labeling. Moreover, for the gifted children I see who experience frustration and difficulty with self-regulation I can develop strategies to help them without a label that will follow them for life. Many parents feel that this is how they want their children’s problem treated, rather than focusing on defects and pathology. I also work with a team, so if the need arises for assessment outside of my scope of practice I am able to refer families for additional assistance.

I began a practice 4 years ago in two locations (Sarasota and Lakewood Ranch) with professional colleagues who had established businesses. At one location I work at a comprehensive medical educational success center attached to a school. This location houses developmental pediatricians, a developmental neurologist, social workers, and tutors. The focus of my practice has been with children, teens and their families. I have used the art therapy combined with Choice Theory (Glasser, 1998) to help the children make art that represents how they can change their thinking and feeling by changing what they are doing (cognitive behavioral). Moreover, I emphasize strengths and resources the child has to create a new paradigm of success and resiliency. My clients at this location often are struggling academically, in addition they are often are gifted. Many of my clients have been diagnosed by the pediatricians as having processing disorders and they may have difficulty organizing their thinking or are overwhelmed by frustration. I provide them with some concrete skills to navigate frustration and anxiety. In addition, I am referred many children who are diagnosed with autism/Asperger’s. I have synthesized the latest research on ASD (Gutstein, 2000) into a unique art therapy intervention that has yielded an increase in language skills, relationship building, flexibility and problem solving.

At my second office location I worked with a Social Worker who saw parents at the same time I worked with their children. We created a unique model of family therapy influenced by the work at the Savannah Family Institute (Sells, 2001), Choice Theory (Glasser, 1998) and Positive Psychology (Seligman, 2002). The model we created is called Tandem Therapy and it uses parent/child coaching to help the family clarify goals, identify stressors, and improve coping skills. Because the sessions were outcome driven, we tended to be able help the families create new patterns of behaviors in a limited amount of time.

My work thus far has been adaptive to my environment; considering the most effective way I can share the benefits of my experience and collaborating with others to create interventions based upon the needs the business addresses. In many ways I have been bending and blending my profession to be more “suitable” for a mainstream audience. This has led me to pursue my EdD degree at Argosy and obtain licensure as a mental health counselor. A year into the program at Argosy and almost two years into my career in FL I have begun to reassess the direction I am heading in. Argosy has introduced me to new approaches and information that has encouraged me to stay on top of the trends and developments in the field. Moreover, my personal development has encouraged me to look beyond the current scope of work I am doing and find a new direction that is more aligned with my non-pathology, problem solving orientation.

Because I have been in private practice for ten years I have had a fascination with business, marketing, and economic trends. I have developed a vision, strategies, tactics plan (Haskins, 1999) embracing the new direction I desire to move my business towards. Currently my business has shifted from focusing on solely children and families to also adult women in transition. Moreover, I have shifted the focus back to creativity (i.e. art therapy) due to changes in career demographics.

Many of the business books I reviewed discussed the importance of creating a niche to focus your business and identify your customers (Lawless, 1997, Edwards & Douglas, 1998, Falkenstein, 2000). Edwards & Douglas (1998) suggest, “your ideal niche will lie at the crossroads where your interests and assets intersect with opportunities you have to meet real-life needs around you” (p. 47). My compelling desire is to help individuals uncover their inherent creativity to solve their problems; my personal resources are my years of professional experience and my ability to synthesize information.

The Art of Making Change in Your Life

2008-08-22T16:03:00.000-07:00

Change occurs for multiple reasons throughout our life cycle. Perhaps the choices one is making are no longer effective in their attempts to meet their needs, or when others have noticed ineffective behaviors and the individual is influenced by how their behaviors are impacting others. To be open to change an individual must move from the contemplation stage into the preparation/ action stages (Prochaska, 1999). Change is only possible if the individual becomes aware that what they are choosing to do no longer meets their needs. When they reach this point they are ready to move into the action, whereby they seek treatment to help them find solutions to their problems.

However, what a client may see as a problem may vary from what a therapist may see as the primary problem. To help the individual understand how their behaviors are impacting them and the important relationships in their lives it is imperative that a clinician offers new insights into how the client perceives the problem. To truly help a client become aware of their ineffective attempts to meet their needs a therapist must build a relationship of trust, compassion, understanding, humor, and safety unlike any other relationship that individual is currently experiencing in their lives. Almost all individuals seek therapy or are referred to therapy because they are experiencing problems with the important people in their lives. In order to help a client the therapeutic relationship must be a safe place for discovery, connection, and co-creation. It is within the alchemy of this relationship that the client often discovers the “ah-ha” moment.

To help facilitate change it is imperative to work from the client and families strengths as Pledge (2004) suggests. “What is the client and family already doing well that can be adapted to help them be more successful in the therapeutic task at hand” (p. 97)? Interventions that come from the client’s frame of reference provide an opportunity to integrate change more successfully. In order to develop cognitive integration the information must be presented via multiple experiences that connect with the client’s intelligence strengths as suggested by Gardner (1993). It is essential to present information via multiple intelligences, such as verbal/linguistic (talking), interpersonal (role-playing), visual/spatial (creating art), intrapersonal (journaling), logical/mathematical (problem solving) bodily/kinesthetic (creative play), musical (creating songs), or naturalistic (collecting and grouping objects). Therefore, the expressive arts can strengthen integration of new information by providing the clinician with tools to encourage client change. Art allows the client to move into action by creating what that change might look like or how their precept ions might be different when they experience their situation in a new way.

Art Therapy and Emotional Management for Children

2008-08-20T07:15:00.000-07:00

If you are a parent then you have faced the challenge of helping your child find ways to manage those big feelings that at times seem to over take them. Those feelings of frustration, anger, or sadness that appear to storm out of nowhere and take over your calm rational child. Often parents are bewildered by the behaviors attached to these feelings such as tantrums, yelling, crying, refusal, inflexibility, shutting down, or hitting. Many calm rational parents, who have read the latest parenting books, still struggle with helping their children through the maze of these intense feelings and out of control behaviors. What may be lacking in traditional parenting methods is a way to teach your children emotional management skills that speak to them in their own natural language. Creative thinking offers a way to do just that.

Children who are unable to regulate strong emotions experience “melt-downs”. Brain research suggests that “emotional hijacking” occurs when there is a flooding of electro-chemicals in the brain. Children who experience a stressful situation may become emotionally escalated due to the amygdala being flooded by peptides and hormones. However, neuroscience suggests that by using your cortex, the analytical part of your brain, you can self-regulate strong emotions. When a child is in a learning environment that elicits strong negative emotions this can impact their ability to hear or comprehend what is being taught. The inability to regulate emotions may lead to social isolation, poor academic outcomes, and low self-esteem. However, there is a link between positive affective states and cognitive performance. Thereby, suggesting a relationship between positive affect, higher productivity, creative problem solving, memory, and logic. It is also suggested that increases in dopamine released by positive affect promotes creative problem solving. Moreover, the research on multiple intelligences offers some insight into the different ways a child learns and why some children learn through trying things out by doing a hands-on project.

So what does that mean to the parent who just wants to help their child learn how to manage the big overwhelming feelings and out of control behaviors? It means that doing a creative and pleasurable activity may enhance a child’s learning. It also means that if a child is involved in a positive learning experience that is related to the way they process information, they may be able to learn and retain this information more readily. Five easy tips to help your child use their creativity for emotional management:
1. Use clay, or crayons, markers, and paper to create a character from their imagination to help them stop and think before they act.
2. Use clay to express their frustration and then create a new way to solve the problem they are encountering.
3. Come up with a creative plan to stop their sibling from bugging them using markers to draw out their choices.
4. Children in a creative problem-solving group can create modeling clay figures to help them negotiate relationships and find ways to build social skills.
5. Take a creative break! When you notice your child becoming agitated and they are unable to talk through the problem have them take a break in their relaxation corner and use markers and crayons to express what they are feeling.

These creative exercises help children to “strengthen” their problem-solving muscles. In other words, they are building up their prefrontal cortex and when they are becoming emotionally charged they can use their creative thinking to get back in control. Creative thinking offers a way for your child to become in control of their emotions, not their emotions controlling them, and isn’t that what every parent wants?

Art Therapy in Schools

2008-08-15T09:57:00.000-07:00

ART THERAPY IN SCHOOLS

Art Therapy Definition:

Art therapy uses the creative process involved in making art to increase self-awareness, cope with symptoms, relieve stress and traumatic experiences, and enhance cognitive abilities. Art Therapy is used to treat depression, anxiety, anger, and aggression, substance abuse, oppositional tendencies, post-traumatic stress, attention deficit and hyperactivity, self-injurious behaviors, and physical and cognitive delays.

Benefits of Art Therapy Within an Alternative School Setting:

Most students in an alternative setting have not been successful in more traditional school settings. Many have had difficulty with relationships with peers and adults and have not learned healthy social skills. As a result they may see adults as a threat and use oppositional behaviors when engaging with adults. Many alternative students are kinetic learners and integrate information more readily while participating in an activity that reinforces the information presented. With this population, the use of art therapy reduces the initial resistance encountered in traditional verbal therapy.

Issues of anger and aggression can be diffused through the use of appropriate art materials. Students prone to self-injurious behaviors can use the art materials as a means of exploring control issues. The act of discharging feelings in a safe manner can help students find alternative means of expressing their emotions, rather than acting out by hurting themselves, or others.

Depressed students often communicate their feeling more effectively through the use of art. Often this leads to the student verbally identifying feelings they were unable express in the past, and identify healthier coping skills.

Students with poor impulse control benefit from the use of art materials. Many of these students are kinetic learners. Talking about their choices and consequences may not connect with these students. They may hear the outcome of their behaviors, however, some are unable to fully process and integrate this information. Using the art materials they are able to identify choices and the outcomes of their choices; this information is often relatable to experience they are having in the classroom or at home.

Students abusing substances to mask their feelings can use art to effectively explore their unhealthy means of coping and how their choices impact their lives (academically and socially). These students are often in denial of the influences substances have on their lives and have not learned other means of coping with their feelings. In the artwork they may express their attachment to substances, with the development of a trusting relationship they are able to identify other means of meeting their needs. The art images change from being centered on substances to a healthy identification of self and relationships with others.

Students with cognitive disabilities benefit from the use of art to help enhance decision-making skills and mastery of the materials. During the progression of the art sessions it becomes evident through the artwork that the student is developing cognitively. This is often reflected in the art as the work becomes more developmentally advanced through the use of form and schematic development. Individuals with physical disabilities also benefit from the use of fine and gross motor skills during the art making process.

What is Art Therapy?

2008-08-11T14:25:00.000-07:00

ABOUT ART THERAPY

Art Therapy was developed in the 1930's when psychiatrists studied artwork to see if there was a link between the art and the illness of their patients. The principle foundation of Art Therapy is based on the belief that the creative process involved in the making of art is healing and life-enhancing. Through creating art and reflecting on the art products and processes with an Art Therapist, one can increase awareness of self, cope with symptoms, stress, and traumatic experiences, enhance cognitive abilities, and enjoy the life-affirming pleasures of artistic creativity.

Art Therapy is used to treat depression, anxiety, anger and aggression, substance abuse, oppositional tendencies, post traumatic stress, attention deficit and hyperactivity, and self-injurious behaviors (American Art Therapy Association).

Registered Art Therapists (ATR) are professionals trained in both art and therapy and hold a Masters degree in art therapy and have completed a 1000 hours post graduate supervision. Board Certified Art Therapists (BC) have achieved the highest recognition in their field by passing a Board Certified Exam. Skilled in the application of a variety of art modalities (drawing, painting, clay, and other mediums), Art Therapists use art to treat, assess, and conduct research, as well as provide consultation to allied professionals. Art Therapists the creative process to help the client identify issues, create goals to address their concerns, and develop objectives with the clients to meet their goals. The use of art materials allows the client to explore issues in a safe and productive manner and allows for the client to sublimate unhealthy emotions into the creative process.

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
(American Art Therapy Association)

What is Art Therapy?

Art therapy is a human service profession which utilizes art media, images, the creative art process and patient/client responses to the created art productions as reflections of an individual's development, abilities, personality, interests, concerns, and conflicts. Art therapy practice is based on knowledge of human developmental and psychological theories which are implemented in the full spectrum of models of assessment and treatment including educational, psychodynamic, cognitive, transpersonal, and other therapeutic means of reconciling emotional conflicts, fostering self-awareness, developing social skills, managing behavior, solving problems, reducing anxiety, aiding reality orientation, and increasing self-esteem.

Art therapy is an effective treatment for the developmentally, medically, educationally, socially or psychologically impaired; and is practiced in mental health, rehabilitation, medical, educational, and forensic institutions. Populations of all ages, races, and ethnic backgrounds are served by art therapists in individual, couples, family, and group therapy formats.

Where Do Art Therapists Work?

Art Therapists work in private offices, art rooms, or meeting rooms in facilities such as:

• hospitals--both medical and psychiatric

• out-patient facilities

• clinics

• residential treatment centers

• halfway houses

• shelters

• schools

• correctional facilities

• elder care facilities

• pain clinics

• universities

• art studios

Art therapist may work as part of a team which includes physicians, psychologists, nurses, rehabilitation counselors, social workers, and teachers. Together, they determine and implement a client's therapeutic, school, or mental health program. Art therapists also work as primary therapists in private practice.

How do I choose an Art Therapist?

Each Art Therapist works differently. Some may specialize in a specific area of interest or with a specific population group. Because Art Therapists theoretical background differ, some may focus on assessment and diagnosis, some may uses Freudian theory, or Cognitive Behavior approaches, or Jungian theory, etc. Some may focus on the art making process rather than the finished product. When you are choosing an Art Therapist you need to ask questions and state what your specific needs are. This will help you clarify if the Art Therapist is right for you.

GROUPS

Art therapy is an effective therapeutic modality when used with groups. Groups should be identified by a common therapeutic goal or specific client population. Art Therapists work with diverse populations since the art materials can be adapted to meet the client’s needs. Art therapists work with children, adolescents, and adults and provide services to individuals, couples, families, groups, and communities. They often work as part of clinical teams, in settings that include mental health, rehabilitation, medical and forensic institutions; community outreach programs; wellness centers; schools; nursing homes; corporate structures; art studios; and independent practices.

A Creative Coaching Tool to Keep You on Track!

2008-08-10T10:48:00.000-07:00

Need some help staying accountable for a decision you made? Want to start a new positive habit? This very simple online tool is like having your own personal accountability coach. It was inspired by something Jerry Seinfeld said, 'Don't Break the Chain' .

Here's how it works:
Pick a goal. For example, 'Do something creative every day.' 'Exercise for 25 minutes first thing in the morning.'
Mark off the days on which you achieved the goal.
Don't break the chain.

Use the increasingly long chain of marked off days as a motivator to continue creating your new habit. Go here to try it for yourself http://dontbreakthechain.com/

Fun and simple, now that is Superfabulicious!

Remember: every paint stroke takes you one step
closer to creating your dreams!

Art Therapist Sarasota, FL

2008-07-21T17:26:00.000-07:00

When you take a break and listen to yourself, you find clarity. It is in these moments of reflection we are given the opportunity to grow into our bigger selves. I ask you to stop and allow this question to resonate with you: What are you growing into? Take the time to use art materials, chalks, pencils, or collage and express your thoughts and feelings.

I wrote in my journal

" I don't know the steps, but I do know the way"!

The Creativity Queen's Creative Life

2008-07-14T15:02:00.000-07:00

Images from my friend Kath's garden

Are you living your creative life, a life filled with joy, excitement, bliss, gratitude? So many people are unhappy, feeling disconnected, stuck, overwhelmed, under appreciated, and unloved. I set the challenge to those of you whom are ready for a change- lets shake it up and create what you truly desire. Take out some magazines, paper, crayons, markers, scissors, glue/tape and set aside 30 minutes to play. Create a circle and in that circle fill it with images, colors, words, pictures you draw of what your creative life looks like: what you'd be doing, thinking, acting, feeling, when you are living your creative life. Now put it up someplace where you will see it every day. If you are ready to starting living your creative life write down three things you can do for the week that will help you get closer to the images you created.

I play with these images often and love looking back at my past images to see how far I've come in living my creative life.

So what's stopping you from creating your new life today?

PLAY!

2008-06-24T12:47:00.000-07:00

I am in the middle of a vacation sandwich, a week of vacation, week of work, and week of vacation. Although I can truly say I love and adore the work I do, I am so in the mood to let summer's rhythms take over and celebrate all things playful!

So I share with you some fun picture of all things that make summer so special and I ask you,

what will you do to play today?

A Vacation Celebration!!

2008-06-06T18:15:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I've posted. For those of you who have children you are aware of the end of the school year rush. I'm delighted to say that when the school year is over there is a space that is created to enjoy all the things we rush past during the year. So I give myself a big permission slip to play! On the eve of my vacation celebration I send out permission slips for all those in need of respite, renewal, and rejuvenation ...ahhh! In the meantime enjoy these glorious pictures from the Embracing Our Differences event!

So what will you do with your permission to play slip?

Book Signing, Circle Books St. Armands Circle

2008-03-31T06:59:00.000-07:00

The Creativity Queen met some special friends signing books at St. Armands Circle. Friends from Canada, NY, Illinois, Michigan, New Jersey, Georgia, Maryland, as well as Florida, stopped by to say hello and bring a singed book back home. Thanks for spending some time with the Creativity Queen on a superfabulicious spring day!

What are you so passionate about that you would commit a beautiful spring morning to it? If you know the answer, when was the last time you did so? If you don't know the answer, take a few minutes to think of all the things that bring you joy and you'll find what you are truly passionate about!

Lovin' it

2008-02-27T18:43:00.002-08:00

I am so thrilled! In celebration of my completion of my doctorate classes that I've been taking for the last 2.5 year I decided to do some self honoring. I proudly recognize my 4.0 GPA with a new addition to my office- a palette of possibilities!
I am free to create the life I want, and that is so delightful.

If there was nothing stopping you
what would you create in your life?
Is there something you can do today to get you one step
closer to the life you'd like to create?

Every day a celebration!

2008-02-24T10:00:00.000-08:00

Art Spa

What delightful gratitude for all that is unfolding. We celebrated ourselves at ArtSpa, a big luscious delightful renewal for a group of women who so often care for others. Our meal at Lavanda captured the deliciousness of a morning filled with indulgent creative self-care.

Thank you to those women who dare to play big and the grand food and setting of Lavanda.

Luscious Lavanda restaurant in Towles Court-
an oasis in downtown Sarasota!

What might you do to nurture yourself today?

Webkinz Friends Group

2008-02-12T18:09:00.000-08:00

Our Webkinz Friends Group was such a fun way to
figure out how to be a good friend.

We used clay and made small versions of our Webkinz Friends.

Bananas got to play with his new friends!

Miley is a Rock Star!

Lilly and Cody had the coolest pad and had a beach party!

Snowball and Joe had a party at McDonalds with everyone's favorite foods!

"My heart does cartwheels of gratitude
in this joyful moment!'

Thanks Webkinz Friends for sharing
your creative play with me!

Don't Forget to Play!

2008-01-30T19:02:00.000-08:00

Last Friday afternoon my husband, my dog, and I took off to play with the manatees in Homosassa springs. It was a perfect day for fun and frivolity. It is good to be Queen, but I think it's more fun to be a manatee!

So what have you done for play this week?

2008-01-24T20:16:00.001-08:00

TOOT!

2008-01-24T19:49:00.001-08:00

The Creativity Queen receives the Small Business of the Year Award from SCORE "Counselors to America's Small Business"

It's so wonderful to TOOT your own horn when the opportunity arises. There is something about celebration of events, successes, moments- time when we made a different choice, looked at something differently, risked outside of our comfort zone. I celebrate this with all of you who try something new to learn and grow, and I celebrate this in myself!

What can you celebrate that your learned from today? Now go and TOOT yourself!

TOOT!

Creativity Queen Art Gallery

2008-01-18T18:58:00.000-08:00

ARTS DAY pictures from our Superfabulicious artists!

Superfabulicious Fun!

2008-01-18T18:47:00.000-08:00

ARTS DAY was a great success, we met so many wonderful people and got to create all day! Now that's a superfabulicous way to spend the day!

POW!

2008-01-09T16:58:00.000-08:00

That's what 2008 feels like! POW! There is tremendous excitement brewing. We'll be at ARTS DAY in downtown Sarasota this Sunday, Jan 13th, in the Express Yourself exhibit area. We'll be demonstrating therapeutic mask making and selling cool kits so you can take home and create your own original mask. Please stop by and say hi and tell us what you are creating for 2008!

A big THANKS to Poppy and her family last year at the 2007 Arts Day!

POW!!

Gratitude and Sorrow

2008-01-07T08:10:00.000-08:00

It was a year ago that we said goodbye to our dear sweet dalmatian of 14 years, Circe. She was such a kind and loving soul and had much to teach me about patience, compassion, and unconditional love. In our backyard we planted a garden as a reminder of her presence- this weekend we spent time planting and giving thanks that we had her in our lives.

At times sorrow and thanks intertwine.

How can we grow in love and understanding from our losses?

What are you celebrating today?

2008-01-07T07:45:00.001-08:00

I celebrate the joyous successes of the new year! There is so much to be grateful for this time of year, family, friends, health, the fresh start that comes with a new calender. This picture captures the giddiness of doing what I love- sharing my beliefs that we are all resourceful and and can use our creative problem solving to make our lives happier.

The Creativity Queen signing at Circle Books- St. Armands Circle, Sarasota, FL

What makes you giddy?

What gratitude!

2007-12-30T20:07:00.000-08:00

I had an amazing holiday and beyond the beautiful wrappings and thoughtful gifts was the most spetacular treasure of all- love! What am amazing gift to be among those who love and truly get you...and I am so blessed. I offer you a gift of this superfabulicious quote:

We're all kissed by angels but some of us never think to pucker.
-- Amethyst Snow-Rivers

(My new office sign, designed and created by my very supportive husband, David)

Have you remembered to pucker today?

So what do you want to create for 2008?

2007-12-26T18:24:00.001-08:00

I have been thinking about goals and what I want to accomplish for the upcoming year. There's the typical to-do lists: see more clients, exercise more, market my book, start my dissertation. However, there are some bigger things on my to-do list that I write down every year but never really seem to do: practice compassion with those who are the closest to me, be patient with loved ones, be more flexible and less strong willed, be more loving and thankful. So how can I make a commitment to change that will last more than a week?

Sometimes just slowing down and appreciating the surroundings offers a new perspective.

What have you seen differently over the last few days?

Can you believe we saw Santa!

2007-12-23T09:33:00.000-08:00

My husband and I were visiting my aunt at Langdon Hall assisted living home for her holiday service...can you believe who we ran into!

He looked as surprised as we were!

Now that's something to be thankful for!

Art Therapy Sarasota, FL

2007-12-22T09:41:00.001-08:00

This time of year I give thanks for all of the courageous and remarkable individuals and families whom I have had the opportunity to work with. It always humbles me when I run into someone I worked with years ago and they smile and comment on the changes they've created in their lives. It is with awe and gratitude that I have been so fortunate to do this work for the last 19 years.

I am truly blessed!

What do you feel blessed by today?

All Things Creative

2007-12-21T16:29:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for gathering with friends for a celebration lunch. I also give thanks for moments when others celebrate me. Today I practiced saying a big thank you to 5 people in my life. If you had an opportunity who would you thank today?

All Things Creative

2007-12-20T08:53:00.000-08:00

The new year is around the corner and it's time again to think of what changes we plan to make for 2008. I've been reading about others who have decided to look at what brings them joy.
Can we find beauty in the everyday? Can we stop and look at something we do typically and find pleasure and gratitude?

What makes you happy?

So the Creativity Queen has decided to look for joy and happiness in the simple things.
Please feel free to join me by posting things that make you happy: pictures, words, ideas, people, pets, toys, foods, etc.

When we stop and think about the good stuff the tough stuff seems a bit smaller.

So what makes you happy?