Art Therapy Personal Exploration:"Selfish vs. Self love"

"Selfish vs. Self love"

Have you ever been called selfish? It's a weighted word that can quickly induce guilt. Interesting enough, as adults we tend to inflict it upon ourselves and those we love quite readily. When we claim that someone is being selfish aren't we just expressing our dislike of how they are handing a situation? Aren't we just passing judgement on what someone else is doing?

If we act from a place of being "selfless", and giving others what they need, aren't we acting like martyrs or victims- and doesn't that lead to being resentful when these acts are not appreciated? It is so easy to default to these cycles of giving to others and believing our needs are secondary, that we should act "selfless". Yet, it is inevitable we will end up resentful and hurt that these pious deeds have gone unnoticed.

Can we shift to thinking about self love instead?-To the realization that when we take care of our own needs we do not ever put another person in the position of trying to meet our needs or that we are responsible for their needs. How freeing!

When we respect ourselves enough to listen to and nurture our own needs first we can be there for others in ways we never could when we are depleted, tired, overwhelmed, or just plain EMPTY.

So here's a playful art activity to help you shift from thinking your behaviors are selfish to self loving. Take a large piece of paper and draw a line down the middle. On one side of the page use markers, crayons, or any art materials that you desire, and create images or words of things you do, think, or feel that you consider "selfish". On the other side of the paper create images or words of things you do, think, or feel, that are self-loving, self-nurturing, or self-honoring. Reflect on what you have learned about yourself through this process of self-discovery.